User talk:Ellyn Kuehne/sandbox

Hey Ellyn! I thought your article revisions/continuation of the Occupational Hearing Loss section was really good! It has a good flow! Here are just a few revisions that came to mind while I was reading it: -Maybe instead of “Any large corporation” at the beginning of paragraph 1, say something like “Any work place that exposes workers to excessive noise…” since it isn’t just large corporations. -In paragraph 3 the beginning part reads a little awkward. Maybe instead of “…were all created in response to an increase in NIHL…” say “…were all created in response to a high incidence of NIHL…” -At the end of paragraph 3 you could include the fact that NIHL affects frequencies 3k, 4k, and 6k creating a noise notch, and link “noise notch” to the noise notch wiki page. Just some ideas! Sounds great though! Good work! Chandramaas (talk) 17:58, 30 October 2016 (UTC)chandramaas