User talk:Eggball2333/sandbox
RaeLago's Peer Review of "The Phosphorus Cycle"
[edit]Eutrophication is a very important part of the Phosphorus cycle, but you might want to consider having a lead section solely regarding the cycle and importance of the nutrients in the environment. Maybe consider having a section regarding phosphorus in the Biosphere, Hydrosphere and Atmosphere.
There are some small grammatical errors that can easily be fixed such as:
“The primary source that contribute to the eutrophication is considered as nitrogen and phosphorus.” - change to “contributes” - Personally I would take out “is considered as”
..it also can be recycled from the sediments as well as the water system.” - Change “as well as” to “and”, this will help with the flow of the sentence as it is already quite long
“Since a bunch of Phosphorus are in the soil..” - Try to find another way to say “a bunch” such as “a large amount”
Good start! I would try and focus more on the cycle itself for the start of the article and then maybe work your way into Eutrophication and Human Activities relevance to the cycle. Keep up the good work!
Raelago (talk) 19:00, 23 March 2019 (UTC)
Eric Jin's Peer Review
[edit]The Phosphorus and Eutrophication section introduces the mechanism of eutrophication caused by phosphorus, and the Wetland section explained the advantage and disadvantage of wetland absorb phosphorus. The cited picture in Phosphorus and Eutrophication explained the phosphorus cycle very well. Both sections are well organized and easy to understand. The length of the paragraph matches the importance of the topic, and a neutral tone is used. 4 reliable sources are used in total, which is good, but a few more sources could make the article better. After all, they are really nice paragraphs! --RWJinZhugEo (talk) 02:52, 24 March 2019 (UTC)RWJinZhugEo
Yunbing Song's Peer Review
[edit]Eutrophication is really a problem that occurs in many cities now, which is an important part of Phosphorus cycle. You did a good job on explaining how excess phosphorus causes eutrophication. You also describe where the phosphorus comes from, such as composting. It is great, but you might want to describe the consequences of eutrophication. For example, eutrophication can lead to algal blooms, the death of fish due to lack of oxygen, and the decrease of water quality.
In the second part, you introduce the solution of eutrophication (i.e. wetland) and illustrate how wetland deal with the problem of eutrophication in details. Maybe, you could also talk about other solutions of eutrophication, such as decrease the density of livestock, and regulate the use of fertilizers.
After all, you did a very good job by using many reliable sources and I cannot detect bias. Yunbing Song (talk) 03:15, 24 March 2019 (UTC)
emilycalvin's peer review.
[edit]Really interesting choice of topic! Although Eutrophication is a result of high nutrient loads in a water body, the phosphorous cycle doesn't always lead to this, only in certain cases. Therefore it may be better to do the two articles separately. I would change the "an" in the first sentence to "the" as well as changing "algae bloom" to "algal bloom". The second sentence could also be worded better, for example - "Nitrogen and Phosphorous are considered to be the main two primary nutrients that lead to eutrophication when their capacity in the water body is exceeded." The statement made about the phosphorous being recycled from sediments and the water system could also be expended on with examples of such processes.
Good start!