User talk:EKGMachine/Agoge
I'll condense my sources so that there's one reference per source for my second draft - for now I'm keeping the page numbers so I can refer back to the text while researching. EKGMachine (talk) 06:25, 25 February 2021 (UTC)
Instructor Feedback on Draft/Peer Review 1
EKGMachine this is an outstanding first draft. You've done a truly impressive amount of work on a difficult topic and you've already improved this page significantly. I agree with all of your peer reviewer's suggestions for grammar and content improvements, so work on incorporating those. I think you've done excellent work so far in adding and reorganizing the page, so much so that it's hard to think of more you can add (but don't worry, I can!) - I agree that expanding the "modern reception" sections is a good idea, especially with regard to how these institutions are often misrepresented/misinterpreted & controversies surrounding these. I can't say it enough, very impressive work so far - I'm looking forward to seeing the final page! Grade: A+
History2112 you had your work cut out with you with your peer's page, since (as you mention), there isn't that much to improve. That makes your job a lot harder, but it's clear you really took the time to go through all of you're peer's additions carefully. Your suggestions are extensive, helpful and constructive, excellent job. Honestly this is exactly what I hope peer review to be - you really had to dig deep and help your peer improve their page as best you could. Grade: A+
Gardneca (talk) 23:29, 9 March 2021 (UTC)
For Peer Reviewer 2:
In my second draft I focused largely on adding information to flesh out the 'Modern Reception' section as well as the Lead section. For the former, I added more information about why the agoge was praised by the Nazis during the 1930s and 40s, as well as information about the Prussian Cadet Schools and their "Spartan-ness". I added a sentence on age groups to the lead and reorganized it to better reflect the information contained in the article. As well, I added an extra sentence discussing the debate around the Crypteia's function, as recommended by Reviewer 1, and cleaned up consistency errors in spelling and grammar. For the final draft, I hope to find a relevant image or two, clean up my references, and set up a separate "Further Reading" section that lists some of the major sources I found on Spartan education and links to a database where those works can be found (possibly the WorldCat database). Ideally, I would be able to find more information on how the agoge is used/appropriated by modern political groups, but so far I have struggled to find sources on this. If possible, I would like to add some external links to non-scholarly (but accurate and reliable sources) that can help further the reader's understanding. EKGMachine (talk) 15:49, 16 March 2021 (UTC)