User talk:Dnigmonova/sandbox

TEST COMMENT* Hey Dilnoza, I think your part looks great so far! I just changed a few commas, and maybe you should start paragraph 1 with a sentence which explains a little more about FGC for people who have never heard of it before.

'From Wipada

Hello, Dilnoza... I think your part looks really great... However, there has been some changes on the article page (violence against women) and someone has already added the section on Female Genital Mutilation. Please find below the part that exists on the page right now. Maybe you can make use of some of this information and add on the part or dimension that is still missing! good luck!

"Female genital mutilation (FGM) is defined by the World Health Organization (WHO) as "all procedures that involve partial or total removal of the external female genitalia, or other injury to the female genital organs for non-medical reasons."[67] According to a 2013 UNICEF report, 125 million women and girls in Africa and the Middle East have experienced FGM.[68] The WHO states that: "The procedure has no health benefits for girls and women" and "Procedures can cause severe bleeding and problems urinating, and later cysts, infections, infertility as well as complications in childbirth increased risk of newborn deaths" and "FGM is recognized internationally as a violation of the human rights of girls and women. It reflects deep-rooted inequality between the sexes, and constitutes an extreme form of discrimination against women".[69] According to a UNICEF report, the top rates for FGM are in Somalia (with 98 percent of women affected), Guinea (96 percent), Djibouti (93 percent), Egypt (91 percent), Eritrea (89 percent), Mali (89 percent), Sierra Leone (88 percent), Sudan (88 percent), Gambia (76 percent), Burkina Faso (76 percent), Ethiopia (74 percent), Mauritania (69 percent), Liberia (66 percent), and Guinea-Bissau (50 percent).[70]'"

Response from Dilnoza to Wipada comment:

Thank you Rainbow for your comment. That's true that this topic is already included under Domestic violence section. However, I still found that there is enough work to do. And totally agree with you that there is a chance to add or to improve this subsection.

Clara's comment

Hello Dilnoza, congratulations on this piece!... It is very complete and thorough, and it's great that you included the frameworks of FGM as a health issue vs. FGM as a Human Rights issue. That was for sure a good and controversial article, the one we reviewed in class last week. I would suggest that you further clarify (and potentially also expand) the part where you talk about biases/myths concerning FGM. Sometimes it is not clear, what you mean. For example:

--"FGM has nothing to do with religion". It is not clear whether, by listing this under "myths and biases", you mean to say that FGM does have something to do with religion or not. Maybe you could use some other tool or punctuation mark that helped clarify whether you are saying this is a myth, or the opposite.

--Same for the dieting part,

and,

--"Female GM is not equal to/comparable with male circumcision".... This may be a matter of mere opinion, but there are several different types of female circumcision. Type I often consists only of the cutting of the clitoral hood or part of it (the female prepuce), and is therefore perfectly comparable to male circumcision. I think maybe you could clarify that SOME of the most severe forms of FGM are much more severe than male circumcision, but others are not, and are in fact equivalent and comparable. But anyway, however you see fit. Great work! =) ClaraeFranco (talk) 19:49, 2 December 2013 (UTC)ClaraeFranco[reply]

Dilnoza:

Thank you very much Clara for your valuable comment. I love this exercise: to get feedback from each other :) It helps us to see our work from different perspective. Totally agree with you regarding Myths and biases section. It was really confusing. Therefore I changed this section to make it comprehensive. Actually when we talk about comparison between FGM and male circumcision, we mean not only the medical procedure. it is also about the reasons why circumcision is done. Usually male circumcision is not forced (it is recommended) and it is a matter of "personal hygiene or preventive health care" (also "Circumcision is recommended for older boys or men to reduce the risk of certain sexually transmitted infections.") while FGM doesn't have recommendation character and you could hardly find any benefits of FGM for women's health, although some people argue "prevention from rape". The idea is that FGM is not only severe in terms of procedure (whatever Type it is), but the motivation and reasons of FGM are severe too. However,I didn't include this under that section, so I understand your confusion :) I find your feedback very reasonable and helpful. Thanks a lot. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Dnigmonova (talk • contribs) 09:05, 8 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Clara:

Male circumcision is forced on the male babies, who cannot choose themselves, even if there is a supposed "health recommendation"... Also, for female circumcision there have in fact been studies that try to "prove" supposed health benefits (in African countries). However, yes, I think this could only make matters more confusing, even if some people (like me) find that both male and female circumcision are unnecessary practices that should never be carried out on children. Thanks Dilnoza, your part looks much neater now and very clear! ClaraeFranco (talk) 00:15, 17 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Dilnoza

Thank you Clara for your comment. I guess this part won't be included into the main entry. I got a message from the world :) — Preceding unsigned comment added by Dnigmonova (talk • contribs) 00:25, 18 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]