User talk:Dimahal/Environmental issues in the Philippines

My intention is to edit the lead section of this article by updating sources, changing the introductory sentence, and ensuring all discussed topics in the body sections are reflected in the lead section. The edits I have done so far are:

1. Wrote a new lead sentence using other environmental issues lead sections as reference. The pages I looked at introduced their section by discussing the history of environmental crises in the articles chosen area. Dimahal (talk) 17:52, 21 March 2022 (UTC) 2. Updated and sourced the list of environmental issues in the Philippines. 3. Reframed sentences on geographic location + Typhoon Yolanda and sourced them. 4. Added ending section on public knowledge/land defenders Dimahal (talk) 03:07, 23 March 2022 (UTC) 5. Added a sentence to address government policy. Dimahal (talk) 16:51, 27 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Full Draft Feedback

Congratulations for your contribution to our Wikipedia project. I know that you've addressed your peer review's issue. When you do so, please write in the Talk page of this peer review page (Do not write in the User page by turning the Edit mode on). Although you've moved your article like, please check the following suggestion:

First sentence: remove "experienced"
"Due to missing or destroyed documentation" ==> Suggested revision: "Due to the paucity of extant documents,"
"is difficult to find" => "remains unwritten."
"existing data" ==> "relevant studies" (Note: If you refer to "existing data shows," that means you are imposing your judgment.)
"when resources from the Philippines were brought into the global market during Spanish imperialism" ==> when Spanish imperialism enhanced its extraction of the archipelago's resources for the early modern global market." (I would use the term "colonialism" instead of "imperialism" because in Southeast Asia, imperialism is often associated with the 19th and 20th centuries. I'm keeping your point in the sentence, but the extraction process in the 18th century wasn't done alone by the Spanish but by multiple local powers as well.
"The Philippines is projected to be one of the most vulnerable countries to the impacts of climate change. One of the largest of these concerns is the exacerbation of natural disasters, like earthquakes, typhoons, and volcanic eruptions, that the area is prone to due to its geographic location on the Pacific Ring of Fire." ==> As The Philippines lies on the Pacific Ring of Fire, it is prone to natural disasters, like earthquakes, typhoons, and volcanic eruptions. Meanwhile, the country is projected to be one of the most vulnerable countries to the impacts of climate change, which would exacerbate these weather extremes."
The rest of the paragraph looks great to me.

I love how you add many citations to the lead section. This contribution is going to be very helpful to readers. Please reply Yes to acknowledge that you read my message. Thanks! Hieup (talk) 00:41, 6 April 2022 (UTC)hieup[reply]

yesDimahal (talk) 17:13, 24 April 2022 (UTC) changes made, thank you so much for your feedback.[reply]