User talk:Detefabel

Welcome!

Hello, Detefabel, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 15:30, 11 December 2018 (UTC)

Notes

Hi! I wanted to give you some notes, as well as a head's up on the transfeminism page. It's a sanctioned page, which ultimately means that the page is very closely watched and as such, any material that you add has to be very carefully written and sourced to make sure that it's as neutral as possible, uses the strongest possible sources, and doesn't contain any original research. If any material is removed, make sure that you discuss the content's removal on the article's talk page as opposed to re-adding it.

That said, I did have to revert your addition because it has the following issues: (I moved a copy of the work to your sandbox, btw)

The content was written as somewhat of a reflective piece. It can be difficult to adapt to Wikipedia's style, so definitely look over the page on words to watch. Avoid words like 'important' because that will always be subjective to the reader and is the writer assigning a specific level of importance to a specific point over others in the same topic area. It also comes across a little like it's arguing a specific viewpoint, which should be avoided because it poses an issue of neutrality.

In the content you highlight a specific person, Julie Serano, but use her own book as a source. In order to highlight her you need to have secondary sources that cover her and more specifically, covers her in relation to this specific point that she's making, in order to cover her in this much detail in the section. It looks like the article also has another section that does the same thing, however it still needs to have that secondary coverage. This is explained a bit more here, but on Wikipedia this is called "weight" as putting too much focus on a specific person or point can cause a section to become unbalanced unless there is enough overall coverage to show that this specific point is something that's held by the majority of people.

In general it's honestly a good idea to use a wide variety of sources, especially when it comes to topics that spark a lot of debate, such as those centering around gender.

I hope that this helps! I don't have a problem with you re-adding the material once you address the above issues, of course. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 15:56, 11 December 2018 (UTC)

• There are still some issues with the reflective language - make sure that you avoid if... then... type language. I'll try to go over this a bit more later - it's getting late in the day for me, so I may have to wait until tomorrow, though. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 21:52, 11 December 2018 (UTC)

More notes

Hi! Here are some more notes.

Lead

• This needs more sourcing to back up claims. The sources used don't seem to back up the claims per se. You have two sources that use the "/", but this in itself doesn't necessarily back up the claims that this is widely used - you need a source that specifically states this.
• I've tweaked the writing some to better fit Wikipedia's style.

Transfeminism In Relation To Trans Identities

• This needs a bit more editing for editorializing - I've done some tweaking, but this needs a little more work here and there. Also, some of this is a little technical - is it possible to put some of this into more of layman's terms?

I hope this helps! Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 15:24, 12 December 2018 (UTC)