User talk:Craymonv
| This user is a student editor in Xavier_University_of_Louisiana/Women_in_World_History_-_02_(Spring_2020) . |
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Craymonv, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:39, 27 March 2020 (UTC)
Cécile Fatiman
[edit]Hi - I saw that you added your section on Fatiman, however the section has some issues that need to be resolved. I've removed it for the time being, so they can be met:
- This was written in a fairly casual tone, as statements like "force of spiritual guidance", "source of life who planted a seed", and "uplifted the souls" aren't really neutral or encyclopedic. They can also sometimes be unclear if the person in question isn't familiar with the term.
- To expand on the prior point, this also isn't very clear on what Fatiman did to inspire slaves to rebel against their masters, as well as how large of a role she played. Was she a rebellion leader? A religious leader who used their influence to help convince slaves to listen to the rebellion leaders? In the prior section it looks like it was the latter, as she held a ceremony that ultimately pointed people in the direction of the rebellion leaders. However the issue here is that since the prior section already contains this information, it would be redundant to restate it in another section.
- The section reads as very positive and praising towards Fatiman, indirectly indicating that the reader should see her as inspirational. It's important that we not lead the reader to see a person, event, or topic in a specific light, as this makes it non-neutral. Even if the intent is noble, a non-neutral section will still show a bias, which needs to be avoided.
- Part of this had an anthropological stance towards the topic, which made it more confusing. Was this about Fatiman or the history of the rituals in general? It also seemed to be somewhat general about the rebellion, rather than really being specifically about Fatiman herself. It was just kind of jumbled.
What I recommend is that you look at what is missing from the article that has been stated in reliable sources. Keep in mind that there is already an article on Haitian Vodou, so there's not really a need to go into depth about its origins unless she did something specifically different from what others were doing at that same time. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:02, 1 May 2020 (UTC)