User talk:CKAbegg/sandbox
Peer Review (Connor)
- Looks like you guys have a really good framework that you just need to fill in. Don't forget about having an intro that sums up what Toxomerus is and key things some casual Googler might want to know up front.
- Make sure the order of topics goes from more general to more specific. You could probably start with description/ID as your first section (after your intro) then evolution or biology, and then the rest.
- Of the text paragraphs you have right now I'm not exactly sure what sections you intend to put them in. When you put them in their place, make sure the paragraphs flow together smoothly. Right now they kind of read as disconnected facts, though the information they actually contain is really good.
- Also in your paragraphs, make sure you speak about things on the genus level as well. You have a lot of sources that examine specific Toxomerus species. Try to look at all these sources together, or sources that are more about Toxomerus generally, in order to state things that are true at the genus level. You can use species specific info as ways to illustrate certain characteristics. Instead of saying "T. spp is this" or "T. spp is that", you can speak more broadly and say "Many Toxomerus species are..."
- Try to avoid saying "In this paper..." It's probably better just to state things as facts. The citation will direct people to the references section where they will see the paper you got it from. So instead of "This paper looks into the pollen foraging habits of...", just straight up say "Toxomerus displays this and this kind of foraging behavior" with the appropriate citation.
- You have a lot of really good, reliable looking sources here.
- The tone in your paragraphs is definitely balanced and neutral.
Connoranderson0905 (talk) 19:33, 12 March 2019 (UTC) Connor Anderson
3/12/19 Peer-Review- Juhi
[edit]For the information at the top of the article "common names" "identified species" "spatial distribution" etc. Consider making this into a category of either general/background information or wiki articles often have side tables in the introduction where these things could be included. Consider including a visual for the physical identifiers information. Even a visual/map for the information regarding spatial distribution would be a nice touch. I liked your table of contents, if you were able to fill in these gaps I think this would be a nice addition to the article. As a side note, wiki has a citation tool that can make your references links, and then it automatically updates your references at the bottom of the article. In your second paragraph, maybe include a link to another Wikipedia page to an article that describes what being a predatory bee means exactly. This way you won't have to go in-depth with the description, but for curious readers the information is available. The next four paragraphs, begin with "this paper"- consider varying sentence structure. Additionally in the fourth paragraph, you mention an interesting point for future directions. I think in terms of a Wikipedia article, you should try and keep a more "neutral" tone and just relay the facts. I feel like the last couple paragraphs could be further divided, maybe with more subheadings for clarity. These might include- foraging habits, larvae, pollen feeding behavior. Juhis2309 (talk) 19:34, 12 March 2019 (UTC)
Roselyn's Review
[edit]I like your proposed table of contents for this new information you want to add onto the Toxomerus wiki page. I would suggest using different titles and headers to help with organizing the contents that you have already found. For example, you could put most of the information that was written in the first half under section 2, "Description Identification, physical characteristics, geographic range". Also, I would suggest making in text citations through the Wikipedia "Cite" function. At the end of the sentence that you had used information from a specific article, you click the "Cite" button and I believe that there should be a option for adding a reference by either title or doi number. If you are a little confused, there is a tutorial from one of the weeks before hand that help with creating a proper bibliography and in text citations which should help.
I would suggest to add information regarding the mating behaviors and active months of Toxomerus. Also, if there are any specific species, like in the first paragraph, make sure to italicize them (like "Taxomerus marginatus). Other than that, if you were to add onto the current sections that you had outlines, I think this article would be pretty comprehensive. Good job! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Roselyng31 (talk • contribs) 19:36, 12 March 2019 (UTC)
Sasha's Review
[edit]You seem to have a good plan for the page. The sections seem like they can be filled out nicely with your information and some other sources. You could possibly create a section called morphology to write about identification and physical characteristics. Also your geographical data could be its own section mentioning habitat characteristics or even be included under your floral relationship section as a mention about where the visited flowers are located if the information is not large enough to warrant its own section. When you do fill in those sections I would suggest remembering to wiki link certain words for readers to find the relevant pages that can explain or help visualize something like the visited flower Families and species names. Citing your articles can be done in the tool bar and I would suggest double checking your writing when you put it in the sections to cite your sources as many times as you need. I would also double check your writing to make sure you avoid phrasing like "This paper says", but other than that your writing is clear and neutral. Overall, good job! Sasha Mendez (talk) 07:00, 14 March 2019 (UTC)