User talk:Bravacoccinella

Bravacoccinella, you are invited to the Teahouse!

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Welcome!

Hello, Bravacoccinella, and welcome to Wikipedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. Here are a few links to pages you might find helpful:

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Welcome

Hello, Bravacoccinella, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 18:01, 12 May 2017 (UTC)

Feedback

Hi! I wanted to give you some feedback on your sandbox content.

1. The sentence about Muniz receiving a scholarship to art school because of his artwork should be placed in the early life section, especially as sourcing like this gives off the strong impression that this happened early in his life, likely before the shooting. The reason for this is that schooling is typically kept in the section about the person's general life. If possible elaborate on this by saying when he was offered the scholarship and what his reaction was- did he take it or decline the offer?
2. The sourcing is good, however the writing is a little clunky. You have all of the important information here, it just needs to flow a little better. I can help you with this if you like. I also want to recommend that you try to see if you can weave any of this into the pre-existing section on his works and philosophy.

All in all you have a good base here - it just needs some tweaking. Let me know if you want any help on this. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:35, 23 May 2017 (UTC)