User talk:Bergkj

Welcome!

Hello, Bergkj, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 16:00, 24 September 2018 (UTC)

Notes

Hi! I wanted to give you some notes on the draft.

• This needs more independent sources to help establish notability, as a lot of these are primary sources. Make sure that you're careful to ensure that the source isn't something routine, like a database entry, trivial (passing mentions), or a reprint of a press release.

• The tone is generally OK, but be careful of things like "made headlines" since that can be seen as marketing speak to mention how much coverage something received. It's better to be more straightforward and just say "The organization holds a yearly telethon for the Red Cross disaster relief efforts such as aiding the victims of 2018's Hurricane Florence." This sentence is a bit more to the point and while it doesn't include the money amount it does get the main point across.

• The history section seems to be more of a list of things they've done - if possible, I'd try to find more about how the organization was created and grew.

I hope that this helps! Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 18:40, 19 November 2018 (UTC)