User talk:Auxoflores

Welcome!

Hello, Auxoflores, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:12, 30 August 2018 (UTC)

Speedy deletion nomination of Jacques Arragon

Hello Auxoflores,

I wanted to let you know that I just tagged Jacques Arragon for deletion, because it seems to be promotional, rather than an encyclopedia article.

If you feel that the article shouldn't be deleted and want more time to work on it, you can contest this deletion, but please don't remove the speedy deletion tag from the top.

You can leave a note on my talk page if you have questions.

Onel5969 ^{TT me} 10:48, 14 December 2018 (UTC)

• Hi, I saw this notification and tried to clean up some of the issues with my main account. With articles, you want to make sure to avoid using anything that could be seen as promotional - essentially things that make Arragon look good without really contributing anything to the article and can't be re-written in a more neutral fashion. For example, listing out things that he enjoys is something that kind of came across as promotional, especially as there just wasn't really a lot of justification for it since it came across as more of a factoid or trivia than something that Wikipedia would see as pertinent. I think I removed the content that would have major issues, however another huge issue here is one of notability as there's not a lot of coverage for him. Two out of the three sources in the article are primary and cannot establish notability. The third, from Risk Magazine, should be usable but isn't something that would establish enough notability to keep the article on this basis alone. Keep in mind that he doesn't inherit notability from him being a part of a notable company - for him to have his own article we need to be able to show where he's notable outside of this business via coverage in reliable sources that focus specifically on him. Let me know if you have any questions. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:50, 14 December 2018 (UTC)

Thank you for the feedback! I believe the time you reviewed the page, and when it was nominated for deletion, it only contained my part (Personal Background, Overview, infobox). This article is part of a group project so we had instructions of first having me create the page, and then the rest of the group would edit their parts in the page. Right now, the page is in draftspace, but it's now complete with everyone's parts on it. I already posted on your talk page, but could you please review our article and let us know if it is ready for live space, or any other feedbacks/advice you have. Thank you!Auxoflores (talk) 01:20, 16 December 2018 (UTC) 15 December 2018 (PST)

Hello, Auxoflores,

I wanted to let you know that I moved your article to Draft:Jacques Arragon. Draftspace is typically space for editors to work on articles where there is less of a chance of deletion. But your draft can still be tagged so you should continue to work on it to establish notability. Honestly, there aren't many articles on Wikipedia on mid-level businessmen or businesswomen because it is hard to establish notability for them except in professional association journals. So, you've taken on a difficult subject and I wish you luck. Liz ^{Read! Talk!} 05:54, 15 December 2018 (UTC)

Hello and thank you for moving it to draft space. I am sorry for the confusion and all of this mess. We, as a group, have our own individual parts to upload and that takes a while to appear. We mostly have all the parts needed, except for one. We will try to edit as soon as possible in order to have it credible enough to meet Wikipedia standards. Thank you for your time, help, and effort!. User:Auxoflores

Notes

Here are my notes. Since this was a group effort, I'll go by section. First though, some general notes:

• This needs more independent and reliable sources. A lot of this is primary and while it can be used to back up basic details, this is also something that cannot establish notability - which definitely needs to be proven here. Be careful with interviews, as many editors see those as primary sources. As such, I wouldn't rely on interviews to establish notability.
• Be careful of how things are phrased. A lot of times any non-neutral, promotional, or biased content is unintentionally added, meaning that the person doesn't realize that it can come across as such. A good way to avoid this is to focus on the most basic details, particularly those that are mentioned in the independent, secondary reliable sources.
• With biography articles, a good rule of thumb is to look at other biography articles to see how they're written.
• With headers, only the first word should be capitalized unless it's the name of a person, organization, and such. The headers should be short and to the point, but generally as far as capitalization goes, it follows the same rules as general sentences.

Lead

• This is decent and gives a good overview. No true notes here.

Personal background

• This needs to be trimmed to remove various details that are a little indiscriminate. For example, one detail is about a society, stating that it is "an award-winning organization for students in risk management and insurance". The issue here is that the organization already has an article, so going into detail is unnecessary. Also, the phrase kind of plays up that the society is prestigious and as such, can be seen as a form of promotion for Arragon. Also, keep in mind that in most cases this type of detail in general (academic fraternities and societies) are generally seen as irrelevant to Wikipedia unless this specific aspect of the person's life has been noted upon in an independent and reliable source. None of the sources here are independent of Arragon, so I'd really only mention offhand that he was a member of the fraternity, if even that.

• Be extremely careful with sourcing. In the section only two of these sources are actually about Arragon, his Linkedin page and this interview. The other sources are general about the school and the fraternity he joined. What makes this problematic is that these sources are being used to puff up the importance of the school he attended, which is itself a form of promotion. You may not have intended this, but it still comes across as promotional. Another issue with how these are used is that the current ratings of the school are irrelevant to the article, since they have no weight on Arragon.

• The content about the school's prestigiousness should be removed. I'm also leery about mentioning anything about his wife and daughter, as well as his personal life, without a source. Any and all material that isn't backed up with a reliable source should be removed.

• This should be renamed to "Personal life and education".

Here's how I'd rephrase this section:

Arragon attended the the American Business School (CEFAM) in Lyon, where he graduated with a Business Degree Level II, Bac+4 in 1997. As part of an international program at CEFAM, he moved to the United States in order to finish his undergraduate degree at Fox School of Business in Temple University, where he was a member of the Sigma Chapter of Gamma Iota Sigma. Arragon has stated that he chose the university due to it being one of the top schools at the time for his chosen field. He graduated with a BBA in Risk Management and Finance.

This is more to the point and only includes those statements that had sourcing and would be seen as relevant to Arragon. If the sourcing does back up info about his family that can be tentatively re-added.

Risk Management Career

• This honestly seems a little general. It suffers from the same issues as the prior section, in that it's sourced by content that's usually either a primary source or don't actually mention Arragon. This also contains a lot of information that's really not relevant to Wikipedia's purposes. I'd rephrase this this way:

After graduating from Temple University, Arragon worked for Marsh Inc and Ford Motor Company, where he served as a Corporate Risk Analyst in their Global Risk Management. In October 2001, Arragon transitioned into the role of Vice President, Senior Casualty Advisor for Marsh Inc., a position he held until April 2007, when he left to become the Director, Corporate Risk Management at Penn National Gaming. During his time with Penn National Gaming Arragon was promoted to the Vice President, Corporate Risk Management, a role he maintained for the rest of his time with the company. In August 2015, Arragon moved to Newport Beach, California in order to accept a job as the Vice President of Risk Management for the Irvine Company.

• I'd re-name this as just "Career" since it's a given that his career is in risk management.

Other Professional and Academic Activities

• This section should be limited to a general list type paragraph. I'd also heavily recommend that this only include information that is backed up with an independent, reliable source. The reason for this is that it's a given that a professional person will more than likely take part in various advisory groups and councils (at least notable person will) as part of their career.

• This should not have any information about the companies, as they already have articles and because the article isn't about them, but Arragon. It's just kind of random details at this point, which is likely also what made the section seem promotional.

Here's how I'd re-style this:

Arragon has also been invited to sit on a number of advisory groups and councils including the Chubb Limited Client Advisory Board, Zurich Insurance Group North-American Risk Management Council, and Liberty Mutual Client Advisory Board. In early 2018 Arragon became the “Risk Manager in Residence” at Virginia Commonwealth University as part of a program sponsored by the Spencer Educational Foundation. As part of this program he collaborated with faculty and staff over a three day period.

• I'd rename this as "Other activities" and make it a subsection under the career section since this is sort of career related.

Industry Awards and Recognition

• This should be a list as opposed to prose, as this is one of the areas where it's easiest to be non-neutral without meaning to. Also, be careful as most industry awards and recognition aren't seen as really notable on Wikipedia, mostly because there are just so many of them out there in a given field. Since the only award is the R&I Magazine award, I'd honestly recommend just leaving it as a mention in the lead or just listing it like as follows:

• "Risk Innovator of the Year", Risk & Insurance Magazine (2012)

You can follow this with the source.

I hope that this helps. Right now what I'm concerned about aside from tone is that the only sources that really mention Arragon is his Linkedin account, an interview, and the R&I Magazine award. Keep in mind that the two links from R&I magazine about the award would count as a single source since they're both by the same magazine and presumably, discusses the award that was announced in that issue. Linkedin is a primary source and the interview will be seen as primary by many editors. The R&I award should give at least some notability, but the award isn't major enough to establish notability on that basis alone and Arragon won't inherit notability from the companies he's worked from - it's vital that there be coverage about him in independent and reliable sources. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 21:39, 17 December 2018 (UTC)

Your draft article, Draft:Jacques Arragon

Hello, Auxoflores. It has been over six months since you last edited the Articles for Creation submission or Draft page you started, "Jacques Arragon".

In accordance with our policy that Wikipedia is not for the indefinite hosting of material deemed unsuitable for the encyclopedia mainspace, the draft has been nominated for deletion. If you plan on working on it further, or editing it to address the issues raised if it was declined, simply and remove the {{db-afc}}, {{db-draft}}, or {{db-g13}} code.

If your submission has already been deleted by the time you get there, and you wish to retrieve it, you can request its undeletion by following the instructions at this link. An administrator will, in most cases, restore the submission so you can continue to work on it.

Thanks for your submission to Wikipedia, and happy editing. Lapablo (talk) 09:00, 22 June 2019 (UTC)