User talk:Alohaaimee

Welcome!

Hello, Alohaaimee, and welcome to Wikipedia! Thank you for your contributions.

I noticed that one of the first articles you edited appears to be dealing with a topic with which you may have a conflict of interest. In other words, you may find it difficult to write about that topic in a neutral and objective way, because you are, work for, or represent, the subject of that article. Your recent contributions may have already been undone for this very reason.

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I hope you enjoy editing here and being a Wikipedian! Please sign your messages on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~); this will automatically insert your username and the date. If you need help, check out Wikipedia:Questions, ask me on my talk page, or ask your question on this page and then place {{Help me}} before the question. Again, welcome! ReaderofthePack(formerly Tokyogirl79) (｡◕‿◕｡) 06:40, 13 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Help requested

You used the {{Help me}} template, but you wanted an answer from a specific editor. If you still need help, please add your question to that editor's talk page instead. Alternatively, you can ask your question at the Teahouse, the help desk, or join Wikipedia's Live Help IRC channel to get real-time assistance. Click here for instant access.Scottyoak2 (talk) 02:34, 11 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

ReaderofthePack I hope I'm doing this right! If you could give me some advice on how to revise it and draft it. I'm fairly new to this, and would like to make sure I'm doing it properly. Thank you for offering to proofread—that would be so helpful! Alohaaimee (talk) 16:29, 10 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

No problem! Firstly, let me set you up with some training modules as far as general editing as such goes: these modules should be helpful, as they go over the general editing process. They were originally written for college students as part of a class assignment, but they are also useful for people new to editing in general. These videos go over how to edit in Visual Editor and are definitely helpful.

Now as far as general suggestions go, here are mine:

Avoid hotlinking within the article. (For example, this is a hotlink and is different than references at the end of a sentence.) We can add some links to an external links section, but otherwise linking within text should be avoided.
Be careful with wording. Words and phrases like "passion for" and "power in healing" are very buzzword-y and can come across as promotional. Getting used to writing in a neutral tone is probably one of the most major things I struggled with when it came to Wikipedia, as things that would be seen as normal outside of Wikipedia are seen as non-neutral on here.
Make sure that everything is sourced with a reliable source (RS) that backs up the claims, particularly independent, secondary reliable sources. We can use primary sources (sources put out by Alker or any person/organizations/etc affiliated with him) to back up basic claims, but independent secondary RS are needed to establish notability.
Be cautious with sourcing, as not all sourcing is considered to be reliable on Wikipedia. Avoid using self-published blog type sourcing, as these typically aren't seen as usable. You also want to make sure to note to yourself which sources are primary. Primary sources can't establish notability regardless of what they claim. The only exception would be in cases where someone won a major award (Grammy, Oscar, major film festival award, major battle of the bands, etc), as we can use the award granting institution's website as a notability giving source. When in doubt with a source, try asking at the WP:TEAHOUSE or reliable sources noticeboard. With the Teahouse, there's always someone there monitoring the board so you may get a faster response. (You can always ask me as well, but Teahouse is faster.)
When in question as far as how to write or style an article, it's always a good idea to look at other articles. For example, you can review the articles for Paul McCartney or Kurt Cobain to see how the articles are written and styled. Of course the draft doesn't have to be exactly identical or have all of the sections, but they can serve as good guides. It's something I still do often myself with article topics I'm less familiar with, to be honest.
Be extremely cautious with claims. If something is seen as controversial, make sure that you have very good sourcing for this. If the only sourcing is primary then it's better to either not include it or style it in a way that shows that it's Alker making the claim. (IE, Alker has stated that...) This is because the more controversial a statement might seem, the more likely it is that someone will contest it. For example, stating that his family was dysfunctional can be seen as controversial because it's a major statement about other people so it's best to phrase it as Alker stating this.

I'm going to re-write part of the article to help give an idea of neutral styling. I'll add any other notes as I go through, but I think that these are the major points. ReaderofthePack(formerly Tokyogirl79) (｡◕‿◕｡) 07:43, 11 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

More notes!

Section headers should only have the first word capitalized unless it's the name of a person, place, or thing (book title, for example)
The sentence "This would end up being the longest he lived anywhere." is a bit vague. It doesn't specify how long he lived with his mother and could be seen as a bit flowery.
The sentence fragment "where his focus was on being in bands and meeting girls, rather than studying" is a bit flowery and could be seen as a bit typical for a teenager. I'm removing it to be more to the point.
The sentence "He befriended Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder and sang with him onstage at The Metro." needs to have a very good non-primary source to back it up. If this was a case of the band allowing a fan on stage, then it needs to be portrayed as such. This makes it sound like he was good friends with them and was invited to perform along the lines of an opening act or guest performer. It's very vague and could be seen as puffing up the claim. I'm removing this for the time being.
The claim "with moderate success and national tours" needs to have a secondary source for the same reason. It's also sort of contradicted by the next sentence, which has "Alker found some success with the Malcolm Palmer Band" because it makes it seem like prior to that he wasn't successful. I've found that it's generally better to avoid stating if something was successful or not unless it's widely stated in secondary sources.
Be extremely cautious about claims when it comes to primary sources. It's also best to avoid overly puffy or flowery statements on Wikipedia. The issue here is that on here it can actually make someone seem less notable rather than more so, as it's a common marketing tactic to use flowery language or be a little vague. This is an example of something that would be seen as more or less a non-issue outside of Wikipedia but would be on here.

I'll add more as I see it! ReaderofthePack(formerly Tokyogirl79) (｡◕‿◕｡) 07:55, 11 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I actually went ahead and just reorganized the entire thing. I put the addiction content largely in the personal life section since this is the norm with other articles, however this is also mentioned in the career section. I started a relationship section in the personal life section, but this needs to be expanded.

Finally, I saw some references floating around in the references section that need to be moved into the body of the article. One of the references is a Forbes contributor link, which isn't seen as a RS on Wikipedia unless we can show that the author is routinely seen as a reliable source by other reliable sources, particularly academic and scholarly ones or major outlets known for being reliable. I didn't go through all of the sources, so I'd run those through the Teahouse.

On a side note, if you're interested in editing in the area of addiction and recovery I highly recommend checking out the WikiProject devoted to editing on those topics. ReaderofthePack(formerly Tokyogirl79) (｡◕‿◕｡) 08:26, 11 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

AfC notification: Draft:Jam Alker (2) has a new comment

I've left a comment on your Articles for Creation submission, which can be viewed at Draft:Jam Alker (2). Thanks! Pbrks (talk) 00:45, 27 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Your submission at Articles for creation: Jam Alker (2) (May 28)

Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed! Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. The reason left by -Zai- was:

Draft appears to still be unfinished.

Please check the submission for any additional comments left by the reviewer. You are encouraged to edit the submission to address the issues raised and resubmit when they have been resolved.

If you would like to continue working on the submission, go to Draft:Jam Alker (2) and click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window.
If you now believe the draft cannot meet Wikipedia's standards or do not wish to progress it further, you may request deletion. Please go to Draft:Jam Alker (2), click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window, add "{{Db-g7}}" at the top of the draft text and click the blue "publish changes" button to save this edit.
If you do not make any further changes to your draft, in 6 months, it will be considered abandoned and may be deleted.
If you need any assistance, or have experienced any untoward behavior associated with this submission, you can ask for help at the Articles for creation help desk, on the reviewer's talk page or use Wikipedia's real-time chat help from experienced editors.

Zai talk 21:52, 28 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, Alohaaimee! Having an article declined at Articles for Creation can be disappointing. If you are wondering why your article submission was declined, please post a question at the Articles for creation help desk. If you have any other questions about your editing experience, we'd love to help you at the Teahouse, a friendly space on Wikipedia where experienced editors lend a hand to help new editors like yourself! See you there! Zai talk 21:52, 28 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Your draft article, Draft:Jam Alker

Hello, Alohaaimee. It has been over six months since you last edited the Articles for Creation submission or Draft page you started, "Jam Alker".

In accordance with our policy that Wikipedia is not for the indefinite hosting of material deemed unsuitable for the encyclopedia mainspace, the draft has been deleted. If you plan on working on it further and you wish to retrieve it, you can request its undeletion. An administrator will, in most cases, restore the submission so you can continue to work on it.

Thanks for your submission to Wikipedia, and happy editing. Liz ^{Read! Talk!} 04:32, 19 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Concern regarding Draft:Jam Alker (2)

Hello, Alohaaimee. This is a bot-delivered message letting you know that Draft:Jam Alker (2), a page you created, has not been edited in at least 5 months. Drafts that have not been edited for six months may be deleted, so if you wish to retain the page, please edit it again or request that it be moved to your userspace.

If the page has already been deleted, you can request it be undeleted so you can continue working on it.

Thank you for your submission to Wikipedia. FireflyBot (talk) 22:03, 28 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Your draft article, Draft:Jam Alker (2)

Hello, Alohaaimee. It has been over six months since you last edited the Articles for Creation submission or Draft page you started, "Jam Alker".

In accordance with our policy that Wikipedia is not for the indefinite hosting of material deemed unsuitable for the encyclopedia mainspace, the draft has been deleted. If you plan on working on it further and you wish to retrieve it, you can request its undeletion. An administrator will, in most cases, restore the submission so you can continue to work on it.

Thanks for your submission to Wikipedia, and happy editing. Liz ^{Read! Talk!} 22:01, 28 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]