User talk:Abigailfraser/sandbox

Feedback from Prof McClanan

Abigail, You might want to delete the version from Talk now that you've posted your draft to sandbox--it can get confusing to have multiple versions of a draft in play. That said, thanks for moving it, and overall it looks like you've made impressive progress. Here are a few considerations as you revise:

for sentence w this part, " architecture which resembles aspects..." are you referring to the influences on Lombard architecture generally? Also, remember to add a comma before the which, and probably it's better to remove "classical" from that sentence since that has a specific meaning that doesn't apply to all of the following examples.
this sentence

It is a part of the seven architectural, pictorial and sculptural sites within the "Longobards in Italy: Places of Power." should be moved later, and clarify the point--it sounds like the significance is that it received a UNESCO Cultural Heritage designation with that name?

History section:

       be on the look out for repetition (don't need to repeat date, for example)
       the point about connections w Arab-Muslim countries is very intriguing--maybe explain a little? (not in the list of influences given earlier)
       similarly this sentence seems to have a very important point so it's worth word-smithing a bit more:

The changes in power create a very significant collision between artists styles and genres; the space is dense with rich decoration that was important for both secular and contemporary ecclesiastical interiors.

Interior
This sentence should be elaborated a bit, a little too much packed in given how important it is for your overall entry

The exterior is rather plain, but the interior is a complex 3 to 5 ratio composed of a square-plan, single chamber, with a spacious cross-vault, divided by pairs of columns in three parts covered in barrel vaults, which closes with a lower presbytery

What's the source for the last few sentences of info?
NB: Important point: the research is very skimpy (the textbook and 2 websites), and it's important that you track done books and articles by experts on the topic for the final project to get above a C range grade. If you're not sure how to find these materials, let me know and we can have a meeting, so I can coach you a little on research for the project.

AMcClanan (talk) 20:01, 27 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

From Prof McClanan, 12/7

Thanks for posting this entry! It looks like the research hasn't gone much further, but the organization is nice and clear anyway. AMcClanan (talk) 19:44, 7 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]