User talk:A7600404

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Your submission at Articles for creation: Hearts on Fire (social change initiative) (June 8)

Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed! Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. The reason left by Tokyogirl79 was:

This submission does not appear to be written in the formal tone expected of an encyclopedia article. Entries should be written from a neutral point of view, and should refer to a range of independent, reliable, published sources. Please rewrite your submission in a more encyclopedic format. Please make sure to avoid peacock terms that promote the subject.

The comment the reviewer left was:

This still has promotional tones and it also has trouble with sourcing.

An example of the promotional tones would be that you liberally hotlink to various books and offerings in the article. Hotlinking is very discouraged in an article because it can be seen as inherently promotional. It's also somewhat redundant since the initiative's website is already in the external links section. There's no reason to keep linking to the same website repeatedly, as the repeated links just suggest that your main goal is to get them off of Wikipedia and on the official website, where they can buy things, use materials, or donate money.

Other things that give off promotional tones are sections that liberally use the words "inspiring" and "visionaries". I understand that this is terminology used by the organization but you need to understand that these are seen as PR WP:BUZZWORDS and are almost always inherently promotional.

You also need to get rid of the visionaries section. This is unnecessary and looks like namedropping. Notability is WP:NOTINHERITED by the initiative being associated with notable people and listing each person is just seen as incredibly promotional.

The sourcing also needs improvement. The recognition section is almost completely unsourced and you need this to be sourced to places that are independent of the initiative. The only one that is sourced looks like it was probably a book blurb for the book - book blurbs do not count towards notability regardless of who gave the blurb. Blurbs aren't usable because they're short 1-2 statements solicited by the publisher for the sole purpose of promoting the book - it's not the same thing as a book review. I also note that this source shows that Clinton wrote the foreword for the book, so any quote by him would be primary.

The other sources look to be predominantly WP:PRIMARY (meaning they were written by the initiative or people affiliated with it) or they're self-published sources that cannot be used to establish notability. The HuffPo link goes to one of their blogs, which would be seen as a self-published source since their blogs aren't always guaranteed to have had editorial oversight. The Forbes link is good since it's independent and this is what you need more of - although ideally they should focus more on the organization than just the book or the author.

Please check the submission for any additional comments left by the reviewer. You are encouraged to edit the submission to address the issues raised and resubmit when they have been resolved.

If you would like to continue working on the submission, go to Draft:Hearts on Fire (social change initiative) and click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window.
If you need any assistance, you can ask for help at the Articles for creation help desk or on the reviewer's talk page.
You can also use Wikipedia's real-time chat help from experienced editors.

Tokyogirl79 (｡◕‿◕｡) 10:42, 8 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hello! A7600404, I noticed your article was declined at Articles for Creation, and that can be disappointing. If you are wondering why your article submission was declined, please post a question at the Articles for creation help desk. If you have any other questions about your editing experience, we'd love to help you at the Teahouse, a friendly space on Wikipedia where experienced editors lend a hand to help new editors like yourself! See you there! Tokyogirl79 (｡◕‿◕｡) 10:42, 8 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Your submission at Articles for creation: Hearts on Fire (social change initiative) (June 8)

Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed! Unfortunately, it has not been accepted because it included copyrighted content, which is not permitted on Wikipedia.

This submission appears to be taken from http://www.heartsonfire.org/who-we-are/. Wikipedia cannot accept material copied from elsewhere, unless it explicitly exists under a compatible licence and is written in an acceptable tone—this includes material that you own the copyright to. You should attribute the content of a draft to outside sources, using citations, but copying and pasting or closely paraphrasing sources is not acceptable. The entire draft should be written using your own words and structure.

You are welcome to write an article on the subject, but please do not use copyrighted work.

Draft:Hearts on Fire (social change initiative) may be deleted at any time unless the copied text is removed. Copyrighted work cannot be allowed to remain on Wikipedia.
If you need any assistance, you can ask for help at the Articles for creation help desk or on the reviewer's talk page.
You can also use Wikipedia's real-time chat help from experienced editors.

Tokyogirl79 (｡◕‿◕｡) 10:45, 8 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]