User:Xcentaur/Funny

"And may we add special congratulations to Nicholas Jones, 1999-2004, whon recently won 'Queen of the Street' in the recent Mardi Gras festival in Manchester. His parents must be so proud."

HI

"this page is about the word hi so i must say hih to all my homeslices"

Yogurting

"If you are happy and you know it clap your hands!"

"The Damselfly (Suborder Zygoptera) is an insect in the Order Odonata. Or that was what was once believed, recent studies prove that Damsel flys are in fact from the tiume period of Mollifrollia, this is a period in time in which Creatures very similar to our deffinition of Dragons roamed the earth, these creatures produced much waste, and Damsel flys evolved to eat it. Many people speculate that in this time peroiod Humans did not exsist, but we have found proof that many had, though few were well evolved. Scientists found a body of a human type species that was at a similar stage of developement that we are, though it was so long ago, this was a female, she seemed to have a larger brain then all else at that time period and ruled them. Scientists name her Molly because she looks like one."

Tadpole

"The common tadpole also known as a pollywog, is in fact not from frog eggs, but from goose poop. When a goose eats a frog the frogs DNA joins with that of the goose, making the poop have an interesting texture, these are what we think of as frog eggs. The tadpoles go through a stage in which they like to sing. This singing is underwater and higher then human pitches can pick up but tests prove it to exist. The tadpoles tail then suddenly falls off, the tail is used as a rudder, so without it they swim in circles, after 268 circles they suddenly become frogs losing all tadpole characteristics"

Lane Lee

"Lane Lee is an actor who used to be an ugly and unbalanced horse on roller skates".

Crayola

"34% of the United States population has eaten one of crayola's products (crayons, colored pencils, markers, glue, chalk). Many claim that the crayons taste incredibly good but the chalk tastes delectably delicious. "The chalk crumbles in your mouth and the crunch is incredibly appealing" said one anonymous source in WIRED magazine."

Bartles & Jaymes

"The most popular use is to "empty" the bottle, leaving only 20% wine cooler. Fill to top with Cold Gin & guzzle it down. Very Hibenetical."

Kevin Dean (musician)

(Citation Needed: Theoretical) The birth of Kevin Dean: Kevin was not so much born as he wash hatched from a discarded back mole of his mothers. One day in early 1971, after a shower, Kevin's mom accidentally dislodged a lump of skin from near the cheek separation of her buttocks. It landed in a corner of her bathroom. Though sparse, the amount of disregarded residue from anything that gathers in the hard to reach corners of a bathroom (slight amounts of mildew, pubic hair, airborne fecal residue dust, other back moles)were enough to nourish young Kevin into a "fetus". Remaining unnoticed for some time, there Kevin grew into a fully "mature" human creature. Evidence of this "sprout into existence" can be verified from a distance, as the mole still exists on the side of his nose. Because of Kevin's odd origin, he is known for having some such "super" powers, as he can assist a guitar player tuning his 'A' string, by beating out the 440Hz, on double bass drums.

Then he posted on my talk page:

I never thought of it as vandalism. I thought you actually had to somehow damage something in order for it to be 'vandalized',though I can see your point, disparaging remarks can be construed as, well, disparaging.

Not that it makes a hill of beans worth of difference to you, I am a friend of the man, and I wanted to help him celebrate his upcoming "hatchday".

For all it's worth, that is Lyncourt folklore. 'The Story Regarding The Origin of Kevin Dean' by Matt Cooper (Former Bass Player and band member of The Third Party, Kevin Deans first band) Can in fact be verified by the large mole on his nose.

IN OTHER WORDS:

Sorry to have abused your website for a friendly joke. I use WikipediA quite often and have learned a great deal of things about a great deal of things.

Sincerely,

LegacyInRed@gmail.com Brooklyn

Dimebag Darrell Forever

Russian Revolution of 1905

"Casualties were up to the millions, and over 30 percent of the russian population was killed during the massacre. Many franks and nobles however in light of the destruction developed the process of making ice cream and later made millions of shillings."

Miracle

I came down stairs one morning and the pond had emptied its self over night and our four fish lay dead in 2 cm of water, our past two fish had died by being caught up on our plant pots out the water and drowning. My mum and dad went out and the fish when they got back must have been there for over 6hours if it happened in the night to early morning, my dad take his spade to let them rip in the ground and clean out our pond and find the leak when my mum pours water over one of the fishes it flips up and moves , so does another one and we rush and fill a bucket with water and put them in thinking that the other two are dead but then they too move about and all 4 fish several hour with out and air or water are now happily swimming, they are quite pale with blue eyelids but there fine now. I believe this is a miracle of some sort or a fish body wonder.

Babysitting

- in babysitting you have to be prepared for anything from extreme cases like the house burning down or burglars to the lest extreme like feeding and washing a baby - - you should never leave a baby unattended - - never spank the children - - it is better if you know the people you are babysitting

At the top of the article British African-Caribbean community

!	There is currently a State of Emergency within the United States, due to a possible NUCLEAR ATTACK. Turn to your local media for IMPORTANT INFORMATION. The DUCK AND COVER procedure should be done AT ONCE.

Wikipedia:Reference desk/Science

Unconcesness? Is teir a vein on the neck that if you push it the person will become unconcess ,if so than where is it?

St.Bernard(dog)

Although these gentle giants can be portrayed as evil shown in the movie Cujo. It is portrayed in the 1977 Disney T.V. movie Barry of the Great St. Bernard. The dog is really great with children and very loyal to the family. But still do not leave the dog in the room alone with a child like all dogs.

So over all the St. Bernard is a wonderful dog and a great pet to have in the family. For being as huge as it is, it is such a gentle giant that will eat your babies when you are sleeping. I really suggest this dog to divorced father that don’t want to pay child support. But seriously would you trust this dog ITS HUGE. Look at it, it can fit a foot ball in it s mouth. But I have found my self to fall in love this animal and I will buy it for my Ex Girlfriend

Green Tea

"A lot of people say it taste good, so it has to be true. Green tea can kick the ass of any other tea... if it wanted to."

Government

This diff says it all

Mr Creosote

The Creosote Paradox

"If this man vomits so profusely, why is it that he is so obese? His vomiting should be considered as an extreme form of bulimia, thus his figure should be almost skeletal rather than one which resembles a walrus."

Talk:Animal Cognition

"Another question: From where and how to get an objective opinion about my rabbits being able to read some words? There is a film at www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qv49w6IrQaI. Should I try to train them to perform a labyrint guided by written words? They are otherwise untrained and somewhat uncooperative."

St. Columban's College, Caboolture

"No one really cares much about the history of St. Columban's College. - It dates back over 75 years though. It was formed in the seventh circle of hell, in the belly of Moby Dick. In that year it was run by a small population of Smurfs. The prision consisted of two buildings, one which was the Smurf living quarters, and a class block where students were grown. - The College badge was very similar to that of the Ku Klux Klan, whith Albion Heights added to it."