User:Phamjm30
Bio
[edit]I am currently a student living in Washington State. I take pride in volunteering in my community as well as my church. My hobbies include amateur photography and all kinds of arts and crafts. I prefer reading rather than writing, although I do enjoy writing short stories from time to time. As a reader, I love reading a variety of genres. I strive to become an ophthalmologist in the near future.
As of now, I have only used Wikipedia as a research tool for my education. As I continue to learn how to edit and use Wikipedia, I am determined to become a good volunteer who can help collect quality information for the millions that use Wikipedia daily. I aspire to help broaden the understanding of unknown cultures. There are some branches of culture within main cultures that have under developed articles, such as the Hmong people, that I want to help complete. For now, I will help improve the grammar and reliability of existing articles to the best of my abilities.
Article Evaluation
[edit]I have been interested in the complexity of eyes for quite some time. Optometry is one of my top career choices and opticians help opticians by supplying spectacles. To emphasize optician's importance, I wanted the optician's page to be well developed, thus I visited the optician page on Wikipedia, and found three aspects of it worth commenting on: its lack of diversity, its lack of citations, and its extensive history section.
Diversity
[edit]Although on the optometry Wikipedia page there is a diverse description of optometry’s impact on the world, such as from Russia, the article for opticians focuses on opticians in North America and Europe. The article also produces the tone of promoting American optician companies by only creating a list of optician companies in the United States. For the article to meet Wikipedia's standards, it must not favor only one aspect of a topic but create a wide view of the topic.
Citations
[edit]The article includes a few citations, however, most citations are not properly cited. Only two citations are externally linked and only one goes through to the cited reference. The history section and equipment section have no citations at all. It is mainly the introductory paragraphs that have citations, thus it is difficult to believe that the rest of the article is true. The article needs more reliable citations to develop the topic of opticians.
History section
[edit]Though the article’s information may not be reliable, it does seem to be quality information. That said, the history section, in particular, is prolonged and could be separated into two parts. The first six paragraphs shared information about people who helped develop spectacles, such as Benjamin Franklin. The last five paragraphs of the history section divulge into the impact of different styles of spectacles in society, like how monocles represented the wealthy. To keep the article interesting and organized, the history section should be separated into two sections with each emphasizing their importance.
Summary
[edit]All in all, I rate this page as "acceptable." The information provided in the article displays the importance of opticians and the main aspects of their work, however, the article does not create a diverse background for opticians. There are also very few citations to support the information, making it less reliable and the sections could be separated to create a clearer understanding of the topic. All of this would benefit the quality and reliability of the article and is needed in the case where the information may be used by others for educational purposes.