User:Oakshep189
Feedback
[edit]--Djjr (talk) 18:21, 28 October 2011 (UTC) Any progress?
--MaggieWoll 15:12, 20 November 2011:
"Amos Hawley was influenced by Roderick D. McKenzie. McKenzie, who was mentored by Robert E. Park and E.W. Burgess of the Chicago School of Sociology. Roderick McKenzie, published several works on a number of topics ranging from immigration (Oriental Exclusion, 1927), economics ( L'evolution economique due monde, 1928), and to urbanism ( The Metropolitan Community, 1933). McKenzie influenced Hawley through his idea that it is necessary to understand change through space and time among populations or an aggregate."
In order to see suggested tags, click "edit." I would remove the section I italicized and instead write "Amos Hawley was influenced by Roderick D. McKenzie, of the Chicago School of Sociology." or something like that. I see that McKenzie doesn't have a page (!!) but by adding a link there you will create that page for another lucky sociology person to add to.
There are some small text edits, like ground breaking ---> groundbreaking and adding spaces, commas, etc, but you have the beginnings of an interesting article! I especially like that you are telling us where Hawley's ideas come from, and not just that he made them up out of nowhere.
MY Peer Comment Assignments
[edit]Alexandra (SANDBOX) (Herbert Blumer)
Abakoss (SANDBOX) (Harriet Martineau)
Project: Amos Hawley
[edit]Project Options
[edit]- Richard Sennett
- Could work. Probably not A LOT of secondary material on him, but enough to improve on what's on existing page.
- Oscar Newman
- Well, something will be an improvement on nothing. We should investigate why no page exists. Also, do a little pre-research to see if there is any secondary material out there. I suspect there is but it could be that it's all derivative (i.e., just people repeating one another).
- Peter Berger
- Existing article is barely a start-class article and he is an important figure. Try reading one of his books to see if he lights your fire.