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Exchange and Communal Relationships

Communal relationships are classified as ones in which the giving of a benefit is appropriate when it is given in response to a need. This is different from an exchange relationship in which the giving of a benefit in response to the receipt of a benefit is appropriate. Depending on what type of relationship a person is in will likely show the appropriateness of the benefiting action. A key concept of communal vs. exchange relationships is the idea of "keeping score". In exchange relationships, both partners are looking to keep score of the benefits or equity given in the relationship. In exchange relationships, when there is an imbalance in this equity the person caught on the short end feels angry or depressed while the person on the long end tends to feel guilty. In communal relationships, neither partner is looking to keep score of the benefits or equity.

The effect of giving benefits can have both a positive and negative effect depending on the relationship type. An example of each type of relationship will help make this clear. If two people are in an exchange relationship, one person may give a benefit to the other in response to a benefit given to them in the past. In this case, the benefit given in response to the benefit given in the past is appropriate. In the future, this will lead to higher liking in the exchange relationship and lower liking in the communal relationship. However, in a communal relationship, this would be inappropriate. But if the scenario changes and a benefit is given to fill a need instead of being done in response to a previous benefit given, then it is appropriate in a communal relationship and is inappropriate in an exchange relationship. This results in higher liking in the communal relationship and lower liking in the exchange relationships.

Sometimes, simply requesting a benefit in a relationship is enough to change the affection in a relationship. In an exchange relationship, the giving of a benefit creates a debt for the other person to return. In an exchange relationship, a person may request a benefit before or after they have received a benefit. In a situation where a person requests a benefit after initial aid is given, liking is likely to be higher than when a person requests a benefit before no aid is initially given. Similarly, if no request is made after initial aid is given, the person who gave the initial aid will experience less liking than they would if there was no initial aid given. But in a communal relationship, some things change. If initial aid is given and the giver of the aid requests aid in return, liking is likely to go down in this scenario. But, if aid is given and no request for aid is made, liking will be very high.

Another important aspect to differentiate between in exchange and communal relationships is how people seeking each relationship will act when an opportunity to reciprocate in kind is available or unavailable. When there is no opportunity the other person to reciprocate in kind, keeping track of the other person's needs will be greater in a communal relationship than in an exchange relationship. This means that in a communal relationship keeping track of the other person's needs is more important when there is no opportunity for the other to reciprocate in kind. In communal relationships, people do not want to do something just because the other person can reciprocate it. In an exchange relationship, keeping track of the other person's needs will be greater when an opportunity for the other to reciprocate in kind exists than when it does not. This means that in exchange relationships, when the other person can reciprocate in kind, they are more likely to keep track of the other person's needs because they know the other person has the opportunity to reciprocate it. Lastly, if a communal relationship is desired, the presence of an opportunity for the other person to reciprocate in kind will not influence keeping track of the other person's needs. The idea here is that in communal relationships, whether or not there is an opportunity for the other person to reciprocate in kind will not affect how they keep track of the other person's needs.

There is a common misconception about partners in communal relationships. Often times, the definition of communal relationship assumes that partners are unconcerned with equity. But this is not the case. People in communal relationships still hope to obtain an equitable relationship, but they understand that in the long term, a sense of equity will fall into place.

Understanding the differences in these two types of relationships and how they view benefits, equity, and need, whether in action, request or opportnity, is key in understanding the levels of liking in a relationship. Higher levels of liking often lead to higher levels of attraction.