User:Ly-So99/Feminist Perspectives on Sex Markets/ALeverich Peer Review
Peer review
[edit]General info
[edit]- The user I'm reviewing is; Ly-S099
- User:Ly-So99/Feminist Perspectives on Sex Markets
Lead
[edit]Guiding questions:
- Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer?
- Ly-S099 is creating his own article from scratch, and i feel his lead is very substantial! however i do have some qualms with the wording, like "segregated", maybe a better word choice or just removing it all together would be a good option. also the last two sentences feel a bit awkward to me, I like what your trying to explain but the overall way the information is presented sounds ....weird. But great start!
- Does the Lead include an introductory sentence that concisely and clearly describes the article's topic?
- The lead is well crafted and includes a definition of what feminist perspectives on sex markets means in context.
- Does the Lead include a brief description of the article's major sections?
- Yes, it does.
- Does the Lead include information that is not present in the article?
- Yes, the sections of the article have information that pertains to that section and the lead keeps a concise and separate view of the information being presented.
- Is the Lead concise or is it overly detailed?
- the first section of the lead is concise and has the right amount of detail, however the later half may contain a few bits of information that would be better used in other sections of the article.
Lead evaluation
[edit]I think the lead is off to a good start and that the information provided gives good background. Some of the lead could be worded differently to prevent any possibility of bias views, and some of the information could be from more recent sources, but over all this is looking like a well crafted article! Keep up the good work!
Content: Radical Feminism
[edit]- Is the content added relevant to the topic?
- In my opinion the opening statement seems to be a bit bias and leading towards a certain type of mind frame.
- Is the content added up-to-date?
- a lot of the articles are from the early and mid 2000's. It a good start but I think more recent information on radical feminism is available. Especially because of the political climate pertaining to women rights right now. maybe mention the me too movement and the radical views feminist have about that?
- Is there content that is missing or content that does not belong?
- I think its a great start and if more information on recent protests or demonstrations by radical feminist are mentioned it would expand on the idea even further and round out your article. Great job so far!!
Content evaluation
[edit]Overall, The content is good but some up to date sources would really help you exposes the current mind set of the group. Also I think the wording could be changed slightly, in order to make it sound like a neutral piece rather than a bias view on radicals. Making the article neutral helps the reader better understand your topic and makes them more comfortable when learning about this information. I think your source on Against the male flood : censorship, pornography and equality might not be a useful source due to the age of the article.
Tone and Balance
[edit]Guiding questions:
- Is the content added neutral?
- in some ares yes, however I did feel a bit of a bis throughout the presented information
- Are there any claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position?
- the first line of your content states;"Radical feminism views prostitution, and by extension the sex market..." seems to be a bit bias, maybe change the wording to make it less of a direct claim about the views that radical feminism holds, because not every radical feminist may hold these views. It is and objective view depending on the person.
- Are there viewpoints that are over represented, or underrepresented?
- this is just the beginning of editing and creating the article so there is not much information at this point I see that the article setup is well layed out and it looks like the it will be a well represented work.
- Does the content added attempt to persuade the reader in favor of one position or away from another?
- some aspects do give off that vibe, however, after re-wording I feel it wouldn't sound bias. also keeping a neutral tone is important to the presentation.
Tone and balance evaluation
[edit]I think your off to a good start and with a little bit of re-wording your article will sound more neutral to your readers. Keep up the good work!
Sources and References
[edit]Guiding questions:
- Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information?
- Yes , all of the citations are from reputable sources.
- Are the sources thorough - i.e. Do they reflect the available literature on the topic?
- Yes, they reflect his choice of article well, however some are a littler old. a more recent article may help to flush out your article and the verities of perspectives on this topic.
- Are the sources current?
- some are from the early 2010's, but I think even more recent sources would be beneficial for a broader perspective.
- Check a few links. Do they work?
- All of the links work
Sources and references evaluation
[edit]Great sources! I can tell you put in a lot of work looking for these, but as i mentioned more recent sources would greatly help your article. Great job!
Organization
[edit]Guiding questions:
- Is the content added well-written - i.e. Is it concise, clear, and easy to read?
- Yes it well written!
- Does the content added have any grammatical or spelling errors?
- I didn't see any spelling errors, however as i mentioned before, word changes would really help to change the writing to more of a neutral tone.
- Is the content added well-organized - i.e. broken down into sections that reflect the major points of the topic?
- Right now I can only see the lead and the one context that has been added, however I can see that the information that will be added later is organized and already in place and ready for information to be added, Great organization!
Organization evaluation
[edit]I think this article is well organized and the layout flows well with the existing information. I like the addition of globalization of sex marketing section. This gives the article a global perspective and I'm excited to read the information you add to the rest of your article!
Images and Media
[edit]Guiding questions: If your peer added images or media
No addition of images to this article.
- Does the article include images that enhance understanding of the topic?
- Are images well-captioned?
- Do all images adhere to Wikipedia's copyright regulations?
- Are the images laid out in a visually appealing way?
Images and media evaluation
[edit]For New Articles Only
[edit]If the draft you're reviewing is a new article, consider the following in addition to the above.
- Does the article meet Wikipedia's Notability requirements - i.e. Is the article supported by 2-3 reliable secondary sources independent of the subject?
- I think a good portion of the article is from very credible sources, however their could be more secondary sources used.
- How exhaustive is the list of sources? Does it accurately represent all available literature on the subject?
- Its a great start and it is accurate of the work represented.
- Does the article follow the patterns of other similar articles - i.e. contain any necessary info boxes, section headings, and any other features contained within similar articles?
- Yes!
- Does the article link to other articles so it is more discoverable?
- It links to a few, but more could be added later depending on what the creator wants to add.
New Article Evaluation
[edit]I think he is doing a great job for creating an article from scratch! its a lot of hard work and I can tell he is putting in a lot of effort on this article. Keep it up!!
Overall impressions
[edit]Guiding questions:
- Has the content added improved the overall quality of the article - i.e. Is the article more complete?
- well it's a new article so anything he adds will greatly increase the quality of the article.
- What are the strengths of the content added?
- The strengths would have to be his organization and writing skills. He has formatted a great and well organized article and I really think that his skills are highlighted by this. His writing is great as well, the tone is the only thing that needs improvement.
- How can the content added be improved?
- I think the only improvements would be, recent sources, more neutral tone and some, more linked articles! other than that I sounds like it will be a well informed article.
Overall evaluation
[edit]Overall, Great work! keep it up and don get discouraged by my comments, I'm sorry if I came off as brash, but I really Want you to succeed because you have a great topic and sources that your writing about! I think taking some of these constructive commenting into consideration will greatly help you improve your article! Keep going strong, you got this!