User:LordFunkyDunc

The Chronic-Wah????-cles of the Cow Man

Four years ago I became involved with a charity biking group, they do events, tours, runs and deliveries to raise money for charity, demonstrate that bikers can be nice people and help to community.

We did things like: Buy and Deliver presents to Children’s homes, hospital and orphanages at Christmas and Easter. Deliver food to sheltered housing schemes and homeless shelters. Marshal the Mini run, 300+ mini’s travel around North Devon over the Aug bank holiday, raising money, and we make sure they can travel as a group, by blocking roads and junctions.

They do a run every year, going all around the UK, but I have never been on that.

I thought to myself “I want a costume”, so I went and tried to buy Tigger fabric, but could not find any, but I did see Cow fabric, so I got it and made myself a Cow Suit.

Which I then wore for the aforementioned events etc.

People loved it, everyone shouts and waves when they see the cow ride past, and old lady’s always ask to stroke me.

On the way to some events I have stopped to get fuel or a drink, the looks I get walking around Sainsburys are cool.

One time, As I walked in the door of Asda I could hear some kid balling his eyes out, his world had obviously just collapsed or something, the kid was facing me and his mum was him. The kid saw me, the tears stopped, the mouth dropped open, the eyes opened real wide, he pointed and said “Cow”. I think his mum was a little shocked at what he said (she probably thought he meant her or something)

The kid starting jumping up and down shouting “Cow”, the mum turned around and stared at me like a cow would stare at an oncoming train, then she smiled.

So I wear the cow suit to charity events, and so far to one dance.

For the past couple of years my family and friends have been buying me cow merchandise, I have about a dozen soft toy cows, several mirrors, a tee shirt with a picture of a cow and “Too Sexy for the Farm” on, and loads of other stuff.

My last branch president said I wore the suit for the attention, he is probably right.