User:Kimera Kat/Three word story

This a three word story. Anybody can post 3 words to it. Don't swear, don't do more than 3 words. Then everyone will be happy.

Chapter 1: Beginning

There was once a boring story. This is not it. On the topic, there was once a boy named Phillip. Phillip's ankles were frail from biting them while bored in school. His teacher, a crab, he hated. The teacher's pincers...wait...not really. I lied. They are hands...really! Anyway, one day he found out that his mom was concerned about his grades.

He went to his guidance counselor who inexplicably brought out the fact that he enjoyed pie. Phillip had found that when he sneezed, time would mysteriously stop. Also, when he clapped, llamas would die. Llamas were endangered! Carl Wheezer cried. But soon, he decided that he poated potato juice and tried not to kill the llamas.

Anyway, I ate Arrakeen Giant Sandworms and then died. Dying really hurts. Bob the llama pointed out "We're getting off topic!" "But who cares?" Phillip clapped and Bob the llama died. Everybody cried because Bob was famous. Bob was reincarnated. He then joined the orginization of super llamas. But soon, he began the quest for Michael Jackson's llama, which unlike others, refused to spit on annoying tourists. Then, Michael Jackson, riding a llama, started eating pie.

Phillip and Bob skipped past the flying German duck, laughing with elves dancing around their flying voodoo dolls dancing around their emo fish cakes. However, I digress. They are so cheaters. They manipulated the dice in a Monopoly game. Anyway, soon a flying pancake exploded. The shockwave hit a farting fish in the face. Mike the fish played Monopoly with another fish called Peggy. Peggy blew up. Mike mourned over his spilled milk, but not Peggy. Peggy came back. Then, Bob played some non-Scrabble Monopoly. Mike joined in. Out of nowhere, another paragraph started.

"Help! I eat Michael Jackson's baby llamas!" cried the evil Queen Elizabeth, then blew up. Three words is three words, dork. "Don't insult my highly intelligent pie!" I cried whilst assassinating the queen. Phillip found a three word story in his pants. Bob moved on to a better nation of pie. For your information, that nation's Denmark. Economical frivolities result in Mike's cake exploding into fragments and stuff. Shoes like peppermint. Jimbo hates people referencing poisonous lemonade.

Michael Jackson then arrived and did something totally and unbelievably normal: an epic dance.

Eating slugs is the only thing that wikipediaholics always do.

Chapter 2: The Recreation of Mike's Cake

Mike the Lychee, who is unrelated to Mike the fish, jumped between trees, then sang about Bob the Llama. Then, quite suddenly, Phillip started biting his knees off. The police came to edit this after which they met a llama girl named Skittles. Skittles loved huge cakes, and was a Wikipediholic. Flying cats will rule when I stop saying they can't sing about a crushed elephant. Phillip is awesome. Period. This is the worst story ever. Not! Skittles loves Michael Jackson's nose because of the fact that Mike is very smart. I jumped off the Eiffel Tower and died twice. I was revived. By Noel Edmonds, why? Why not? Because of the next paragraph.

Cake blows up when you say "Pie." I said pie. That is why Michael Jackson is now insane. He likes cake. Meanwhile, back at the two Mikes, Jordan ate them with pleasure. Mmmm. Narf is a freaking idiot. He jumps on left-wing opinion polls, then he loses his pants. Wait, I don't think it's really purple. I think it's back to story, where Mike's pie exploded hopelessly into kung-fu watermelons. Mike started vomiting uncontrollably. He died from okra poisoning. No-one cared. Spiderman, who was eating a giant pie saw a snowman jump off a cucumber-eating hamster. I like cake. Pikachu ate Poke-cake. Then Pikachu puked. Aww...so adorable! The barf flew and hit the wall and spiderman. Spiderman blew up into a cloud and ate paprika. Bart Simpson then saw the coming Lost Ark, which spoke about Djibouti and Ragatingi. Then the Olympics happened and was later rickrolled by some llama called Pianista. Afterwards, Bart and Lisa Simpson yelled, "NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU ANY DONUUUUUUUUUUTS!" Only then, all the ferrets suddenly exploded when the Olympics ended. On subject of Bob the Llama, he spat on Weebl and Bob. But then Bob, Bob and Weebl, and SpongeBob SquarePants all came together to bake Mike's terrible meat pies, Homer Simpson ate Bob and Weebl. Then, the donut ran away.

Phillip likes my userpage but he almost got killed while signing my guestbook by a big, hairy troll. The troll shaved all his hair but was still failing to meet Wikipedia's notability guidelines. Meanwhile, Phillip was eating cheesecake and found something shiny. It was a Working man's Barnstar except that it smelled horribly, like a dying moose. Despite that, Phillip relished in it. Phillip has weird, pink, clown shoes. The shoes smell like SpongeBob Squarepants. The stock market has nothing to do with DONUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTS!!! But this story is just lame, because it is written by llamas. Llamas explode loudly. They stink bad, like rancid lolipops.Lolipops sticks= EVIL like Phillip's little yellow polka-dot bikini. That is troubling. But then the lolipop sticks disappear into a vast black hole that consumes llamas like divison by zero. An iMac G5 lands in your hair, which burns. It's soft, intricate, yellow, burning, deadly, venomous, strand-like exterior swallows you whole before running the sudowoodo who rides into the minefield and flattens pikachu. Homestar saves pikachu. Pikachu runs into a brick wall. Homestar breaks wallsopikachucanpass. "Wallsopikachucanpass" is Russian. No, it's compound! It's the result of a genetic word fusion thingummyrobert. Then Homsar is the result of my cat getting killed. Suddenly, Donald Trump eats a Sugar-coated doughnought, thus a sandworm flew into the mouth of Bob to save his undead bear cavalry from the united llama squad. "I'm very afraid!", shouted Princess Peach, whipping her parasol with her humongous glass of water. NOW I SAY OOPS DOUBLE POST. Peach Rectilinearly-propagated towards a Russian Mcdonalds to order some mcnuggets out of Hell. Peach throws parasol. It kills Pikachu. "Zero kills everything!" yells Peach as Eddy's prized cock. Dragonair comes in. Dragonair decides to kiss Peach lovingly. Peach started crying. Then Sebastian the crab commited suicide. Unfortunately, philip died of boredom from Twilight (movie). A new movie staring Johnny McLanchen was playing at Happy Valley Theater, suddenly Linkara appeared! Linkara powned the midgets using pickles with Thor's hammer. In a blink of an eye, the movie became a kinky porno. Sonic the Hedgehog wandered in and ate Linkara's pickles, but they tasted like calamari so he ate more. Then he said "the cake is a lie". Lies are awful. A new game is automatically cool; Emily led slugs off a cliff. Philip saved them and ate cheese. Cheese with bananas! he got fired - fried*, a typo.

Chapter 3: The Wolf and the Wikipuma

Once upon a slippy rock, a WikiPuma searched for some creepypasta to make a crayon. Then BEN came and the world exploded! It then rebuilt, but a giant lobster appeared and the Wiki Puma turned into Sarah Palin's daughter's cat. Stalin killed Dumbledore and then a frog and was hailed by a pony. Suddenly, a monster bought some lampshades, Broadway musical tickets, a pencil sharpener and a sword, and ate my contributions. Luckily, the wolf ate Jimbo Wales, who decided to crash Wikipedia. 137 editors panicked and blamed Willy. Luigi for ordering the mushrooms was slapped. Then the lobster pinched Jimbo Wales' pinkie finger and became king lobster. Then Jimbo Wales gets banned forever, unless he throws the lobster at Justin Beiber which he did. Sadly, Justin Bieber was absent, because Proactive was suing him for being in a commercial about Banana acne removal. The strangest thing is it still jumped at noises that came from a poodle. It ate Justin and ate him again with great relish while riding a unicorn under the third great empire, without guilt or empathy for him. With the world in terror at the brink of disaster, Barack Obama said, "Nuke 'em!" Then Zombie Hitler realized he's naked and stuck in a wormhole with Miley Cyrus they both began to twerk and then she realised that she had exploded into bits of radioactive water. Afterward, a 1D fangirl took the chocolate. Jayfeather killed fangirl. Dave killed Jayfeather. StarClan fought back. George went to somewhere much nicer. Tony got confused. Julie death stared until Phillip returned "Welcome to Zombocom!" said the fool, for he was the left ankle of a slowly walking person called PewDiePie who joked about cyan flying slugs. Then The Doctor, Dr. Issac Then, HE died lol. However, being non-canon, to be continued...

Chapter 4: The WikiPuma, the Wizard and the Wardrobe

Now, after he drew two cards, and clumsily so, he was proud of all that he had forgotten that his parents were watching him. Luckily, they were not that gay, being the ace, he slaughtered a small child. This made him very bloodthirsty and happy. He also gamed. His favorite game was World of Warcraft Classic because Kerrigan is the best character, nerd. The Nerd was by himself when all of a sudden, Margaret Thatcher announced that gaming gives children cancer. Needless to say that's pretty insane.

Frustrated and baffled, he went to a wikipedia page and vandalized it.

Then, Joe Biden prayed to god that his sandwich watched Paw Patrol and could also eat a newspaper. Then he walked up to him and said that "you can't just kiss and tell. If you do, I'll eat your cheese and bologna with SlapChopped nuts!" Surreptitiously, god moved to New York City and slayed the Statue of Liberty, falling to llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch while eating banana. "Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo, moron."

Then, the magnificent Pizza Tower crumbled. And then he remembered the funeral. Just the funeral. His other memories fixed the world... Just Kidding LOL. Then Kirby arrived, and ate some TUC crackers with Greg Heffley. After Kirby ate Greg, a WikiCyclops came and cried chocolate. Oh, and the Sugary Spire was destroyed by it. Kirby rebuilt the Spire, and installed THAT mod on Pizzaface's computer, causing him to cringe at the strangers in the familiar tower of pizza. "What is this?" Pizzaface shouted, trying to play his game in peace. Then, Nintendo called. Nintendo arrested Pizzaface, but Pizzaface pulled out the amazing REALLY BIG SHOTGUN and then used it on the Piranha Plant army. Out of nowhere, an Eggy Car drove and hit him right then and there! Reading this story, Pizzaface's corpse suddenly became a Wikiwolf and consumed the Sugary Spire. It was absolute absurziti! Shooting the Wikiwolf, John Wilkes Booth then just... decided to go and to be continued... This won't end!

Chapter 5: If Jimbo did leave

Jimbo ate the YUMMY GARLIC BREAD, with some spaghetti. He felt kinda good, then Luigi ate a grue. What's a grue? Why, a grue is a creature from a game called Zork. Yeah, they killed Luigi by eating Mario Spaghetti-Os and sang Ging_Gang_Goolie to the Uncyclopedians. The uncyclopedians died a horrible death.

Their death wasn't the one that they deservioli. However, a Pikachu appeared and used SnowGrave? That one Wikiwolf danced to death. Giuliete14 Likes Warriors. That made the cucumber man awake from his slumber, which lasted about 10 thousand years. More pasta emerged and ate Giuliete14 and QuicoleJR. Again. Oh, and Pizzaface made his grand return eating some more Key Lime Pie as QuicoleJR escaped. But then, a BFDI appeared on their flatscreen TV and claimed to have been the "original prize, but modified for Wikipedians." Then, the game had turned into a cup of expired Bud Light and we drank while speedrunning Undertale. We then backflipped off of a bunch of horses and landed in Geometry Dash, where a gamebreaking glitch made Wikipedians join