User:KassandraRoyer
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— Wikipedian ♀ — | |
Name | Kassandra |
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Current location | London, Ontario |
Education and employment | |
Occupation | Student |
Education | OSSD King's University College |
Contact info | |
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This user is a member of APS-Wikipedia Initiative. |
Peer Review 1/1 The student has improved the quality of the information available in this article 1/1 The student has improved the clarity and/or organization of the content 1/1 The student has clearly explained the method and findings of an empirical paper 1/1 The student has correctly cited the empirical paper according to Wikipedia guidelines, and the paper is appropriate (i.e., it is an empirical study on development published the results in an academic journal) Comments and Suggestions for Improvement: I think you have done a great job improving this article! When adding a new heading into an article page, make sure the new title heading is in sentence-case (all lower case letters, except for letter of first word). Also, you added a section called research, when there was already a section called research, so maybe you could combine those two sections into one. Also, once you finished writing about your empirical article and what the researchers found, I would suggest adding a concluding sentence to that paragraph to wrap up what you're talking about. I might also suggest rewording the way you have listed what the researchers found. I thought it was a bit difficult to read and to take in all that information. I think it would be easier to understand if maybe you separated those findings out into a couple sentences. For your reference for the empirical article you used, the title of the article should be in sentence case as well. All the edits you made to the article were great! I think you did a very good job of helping to get the information off in a way that was easier to understand than what was written before. I also thought it was really good that you hyper-linked some concepts in the article that hadn't been hyper-linked yet. I did notice in a couple of spots that when you made your edits, that you forgot to delete a word or need to add in a word to make the sentence make complete sense (ex. under esteem, the word "to" is missing in that section after "they may feel the need") Overall, great job! Mpeaslee (talk) 01:55, 8 November 2012 (UTC)
Posted this on the talk page of Maslow's hierarchy of needs first, oopsy.