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Autism is a mental disorder with struggles in social situations, communication and interactions. Autism is a lifelong disability and has no cure but many people grow up to know how to handle it or find ways to work around their diagnosis. Social cues and communication are areas in which people on the Autism spectrum may struggle and one example many people struggle with are forming of relationships more specifically romantic relationships. Starting a romantic relationship has some troubles for people not on the spectrum but people on the Autism spectrum have problems creating a friendship that will eventually lead in to a potential relationship. Asperger's Syndrome is linked to Autism and many people diagnosed with Asperger's have struggled with initiating a beginning of relationship. People on the Autism or ASD spectrum desire intimate relationships but lack the skills and knowledge to initiate one. Despite the lack of knowledge with relationships people on the spectrum may attempt to start one but fail due to lack of knowledge and social cues. While many people on the spectrum are vastly intelligent they struggle with social cues and and facial expressions making some of the social interactions and dating frustrating.

Autism is in a category of it's own and is sometimes affiliated and researched with a focus in psychology. However, there is not focus on relational communication and how it can be taught to people on the spectrum. People who are diagnosed with autism sometimes do not focus on social situations but rather just the educational situations necessary. Many people who have Autism do not get married and have some trouble dating or attempting a start to a relationship.

Autism and Romantic Relationships Relational Communication

Relational Communication

Relational Communication for people not on the Autism Spectrum

Relational communication is a subset of interpersonal communication and focuses on the interpretation of messages in close relationships. Relationships can focus on interactions between friendships and family members but can also be assessed romantically. Some people may learn from couples around them when how to start a romantic relationship or copy what is being done in certain situations. Interpersonal skills from an adolescent such as positive engagement can be incorporated with topics important to a family such as climate or how someone was raised.

Relational Communication with Autism

One of the important parts of being in a relationship is the ability to share with others. A known difficulty of people diagnosed with Autism is sharing feelings and emotions.

Topics are important in relationships whether romantic or friendship oriented and is something people on the spectrum do not understand or know how to work with. Many people enjoy certain topics and want to focus on these topics but others only want to focus on it once and move in. This leads to the idea of repetition with people on the Autism spectrum. Repetition and having a certain routine is normal for the Autism spectrum but this can lead to discomfort or even frustration from people close to them.

Problems with Autism Spectrum and Relational Communication

Autism Struggles

Autism is a disorder that complicates social situations and forming relationships. The ability to read the room or knowing what to contribute in a conversation is not as well known to someone on the Autism spectrum. A common struggle for people on the spectrum is following the rules of storytelling. When considering a conversation and someone is recounting an event or telling a story to the people around them, typically developed people know when to wait there turn or how to follow the rules. However, someone with Autism may have trouble following the topic, waiting their turn or contributing to the topic. People on the Autism Spectrum have certain and favorite interests that they want to discuss even when it is not the correct time.

Well known struggles with Autism include

• Staying on topic
• Social interaction
• Sensitivity
• Adjusting Speech
• Making and Keeping friends

Making and Keeping Friends

Social skills are the formation for helping people develop friendships and relationships and this is something many people on the Autism spectrum have trouble with. A result of the difficulty with making and keeping friends is the resources designed to assist the children in making friends. One of the best ways to make friends is by finding someone with a common interest. People on the Autism spectrum typically have a particular interest and finding someone with that interest can begin a friendship. Another thing difficult to people on the autism spectrum is knowing what a friend is. Parents of people on the autism spectrum have mentioned how they fear their child is being taking advantage of due to being trusting of the people who appear to be friends. With people on the spectrum known for their trust with others taking advantage of them can cause struggles and difficulties with knowing what a true friend means.

Relationship Cues

Some people who have been diagnosed with Autism may develop later than peers. Whether it has to do with maturity or relationships people on the Autism scale have some difficulty that others may take for granted. Young autistic adults want to form social and romantic relationships like their friends and colleagues but face some barriers when forming or creating these relationships. Some obstacles include meeting people, deciding if this person is worth dating, showing interest and small talk to name a few. While these may seem like difficulties with people not on the Autism spectrum when they start dating; people on the Spectrum experience these problems a lot later and the knowledge is not as well known or implied. An idea that relates to the struggles in relationships involves stalking. People diagnosed with autism learn and observe from other people to understand a situation before beginning. While this tactic can work it also may make the other individual feel uncomfortable with these actions.

Difficulty with dating

Similar to cues or social situations, people with Autism typically over analyze whether someone likes them romantically or not. A key example of this is when locking eyes with someone. When reliable modes of communication between the partners do not exist, miscommunication and misunderstanding is more likely to occur. This is common in typical relationships and bound to happen in a relationship between nondisabled or non-Autistic people.

When two people lock eyes from across the room they make eye contact until someone looks away leading to the other person to look away as well. For heterosexual relationships it is a given for men to seek out the relationship with a woman but this is harder in the sense of people with autism with the fear of rejection. People on the Spectrum have higher value of their feelings and emotions and something such as rejection can lead to a huge effect on how someone views themselves.

Nonverbal Communication for Autism

Something as simple as eye contact or body language is difficult for someone with Autism. Women state how confidence is something they look for in a romantic partner and eye contact and a smile is one of the best ways to show confidence. Whether it is lack of eye contact or being unsure how much eye contact to use people on the Autism spectrum have some difficulty knowing the perfect amount in a social setting. In a social setting it is simple to understand how a person feels based on how they sit or if they are looking at their watch. These nonverbal cues are hard to pick up for someone on the spectrum and communication is upwards of 80% non-verbal cues.

Autism Spectrum and Emotions

For typically developed people the ability to recognize facial expression or emotions is important and learned early in life. Recognition of facial expressions is one of the main signals used to understand feelings and emotions of others. There are times it may seem that someone may not be emotionally involved or lack an interest in social interaction but this is false. People on the Spectrum want to interact with others and display their emotions but they sometimes may not know how to. Looking back to the difficulty with nonverbal cues something as simple as smiling to indicate to someone of their interest happiness can be attributed to smiling because they were told they needed to. Autism is typically associated with the lack of social cues and how people can interpret this. People who are on the autism spectrum have some problems with things that might be simple for others such as sarcasm facial features. Autism is associated with other emotional difficulties, such as recognizing another person’s emotions.