User:Hippomilk004
![]() | This user is a student editor in Everett_Community_College/English_Composition_3750_(Fall). |
Biography
[edit]I'm a first generation student currently attending college in Snohomish County, Washington. One of my favorite past times is reading. Recently, I've shown interests in these two genres: science fiction or horror. If it weren't for my interest in nursing, I would've been pursuing a career in dermatology or fashion. I try to incorporate face mask into my everyday routine; otherwise, my skin would be very irritated and dry. Fashion acts as an outlet for me to express my personality but I find it quite hard to plan outfits accordingly with the weather in the Pacific Northwest.
My current skill level with Wikipedia could be labeled as inexperienced. I was always told that Wikipedia wasn't a reliable source; therefore, I shouldn't use it unless it was my only option. I don't see myself working long term with Wikipedia but I hope to touch up on subjects that I'm interested in—fashion and beauty is something I want to look more into. With the proper training, I hope to be able to distinguish the reliable articles from those that are not as good.
Article Critique
[edit]Science fiction is one of the genres I tend to go to when looking for a book because it keeps me captivated. The goal of science fiction is to compose an imaginative society and see the outcomes resulting from innovative creations. A popular species portrayed in these type of books are vampires, but more often likely than not, they are romanticized. I wanted more information on the origin of vampires, so I visited the Mullo (vampire) page on Wikipedia, and found three aspects of it worth commenting on: references, grammar, and its lack of imagery.
References
[edit]To see what the author referenced, I viewed the citations and also looked at their references. Two out of the four links—which I believe were really the same link—were removed from their databases. This leaves the other two links. One was from a website where the owners are bloggers but also werewolf lovers; the authors could be bias and they don't have a valid background to be writing about vampires. The last link claimed to know definitions of all in the "Vampyre World". Considering the format of the website and the lack of credentials, I'm listing the last link as untrustworthy as well. The article is in need of reputable citations in order to have accurate information.
Grammar
[edit]The structure overall in the article is average. I felt like the author could've used more extensive language and description to describe such a fantastical species. Another complication that confused me was the way in which things were ordered. It was hard to focus on what I was reading. With grammatical vision, the article could be easier to comprehend.
Imagery
[edit]I've noticed that some of the sentences are trying to conjure up characteristics of a vampire. One sentence specifically that I thought was broad was how they mentioned that vampires had a "physical oddity". This can range from many things, and a supporting picture could specify on what the author really meant. The use of images can enhance someone's understanding if they didn't start with background knowledge about vampires.
Summary
[edit]Altogether, I believe the article is at a good starting point. The information provided gave a standard understanding of what a vampire could be, but leads viewers to the question of where all the information came from. Some of the references were nonexistent and unreliable—readers will find it difficult to believe anything in the article. Lastly, I think that some things could be added to this article: things like images and better language could engage readers.