User:Helengracedaniel/The Boy (book translated from French)/FatimaRazzaq Peer Review
Peer review
Complete your peer review exercise below, providing as much constructive criticism as possible. The more detailed suggestions you provide, the more useful it will be to your classmate. Make sure you consider each of the following aspects: LeadGuiding questions:
ContentGuiding questions:
Tone and BalanceGuiding questions:
Sources and ReferencesGuiding questions:
OrganizationGuiding questions:
Images and MediaGuiding questions: If your peer added images or media
For New Articles OnlyIf the draft you're reviewing is for a new article, consider the following in addition to the above.
Overall impressionsGuiding questions:
Examples of good feedbackA good article evaluation can take a number of forms. The most essential things are to clearly identify the biggest shortcomings, and provide specific guidance on how the article can be improved.
Additional Resources |
General info
[edit]- Whose work are you reviewing?
Helengracedaniel, Zoenaylor47, Mbb5c
- Link to draft you're reviewing
- User:Helengracedaniel/The Boy (book translated from French)
- Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
- The Boy (book translated from French)
Evaluate the drafted changes
[edit]Hi ! Great first draft of the article! I hope my suggestions help :))
Lead
- Great introductory sentence! It clearly and concisely introduces your novel.
- I am not sure if you need to do this but on the d2L peer review guidelines, it says the Lead should include a brief description of the articles's major sections, so maybe you could add an introductory sentence about structure and reception. Other than that, I think the information you included, sets up the article well.
- Maybe you could add the Lead to the top of the page.
- I think the Lead is concise and not overly detailed.
- This is just a wording thing, but the last sentence is a bit wordy, so maybe you could change "However, in his journey, he becomes entangled in World War I and battles the loss of the people he bonds with alongside PTSD from trench warfare." to "On the boy's journey, he becomes entangles in World War 1 and battles the loss of the people he bonds with and PTSD from the trench warfare." I think it sounds a bit more concise and neutral.
Content:
- I think the content is really good and obviously relevant to your novel.
- The plot summary is very informative, and I know it is only the draft, so before you publish it for real, make sure to read it out loud and edit the wording a structure a bit to ensure flowI . Some of the sentences are abrupt and don't flow the best. But this is an easy fix!
- I think the content is good, but maybe you could add a theme or symbolism section if you feel like you have information for that.
- Maybe you could add a few more links to other articles like "hamlet", I didn't know what that was, but maybe that's just me haha.
- In the structure section there is a sentence that says "The novel is divided into three sections —1910-1914, 1914-1915, and 1916-1938—..." and maybe you could change it to "The novel is divided by time periods in three sections—1910-1914, 1914-1915, and 1916-1938—" And in the structure section, you start the paragraph with "The Boy is separated into three sections. " after just explaining how the novel is divided into three sections, so it becomes confusing because I thought something new was being brought up, even though it wasn't. In the last sentence of the Structure section, there is a typo, "through" is capitalized in the middle of the sentence.
- ^^Other than some of the wording, which again, is understandable as it is the first draft, I think the Structure section is really good and informative!!
- Maybe you could add a little more information to the Historical Background section, and relate it a little more to the contents of your novel.
Tone and Balance:
- I do not think there are any claims in this article that appear heavily biased toward a particular position/interpetation, it sounds neutral to me. Both positive and negative reviews are also included.
- Again, maybe you could add a little more information to the Historical Background section.
- I do not think the article attempts to persuade the reader in favor of one position or away from another, it is really good in that aspect.
Sources and References:
- I think all the facts are backed up by a reliable source
- I don't recognize Le Monde, so I'm not sure if it is a strong and reliable source, but I am sure it is.
- I'm not sure if it is because it is from JEWL or something, but he fifth source doesn't have a link, I just wanted to include that just in case you didn't know or if it was a mistake.
- There is at least one source per paragraph except for the characters section, maybe you could add a source that discussed a character's role and just link that.
- There are 9 sources! Good job with that!
- I think the sources are varied, but just make sure.
- Except for the one link that is missing, all of the links worked for me! I think two of them might have been repeated, but that could have been a mistake by me.
Organization:
- As a first draft, I think the article is well-written. Some of it is a bit choppy, but it is concise. I didn't see any grammatical or spelling errors other than the word that was capitalized in the middle of the sentence I included above, but I think just reading it over out loud and editing some of the sentence structures and word choices would make it even more perfect.
- I think the article is well organized.
Images and Media:
- The article does include one image, and it is from creative commons, so it is valid.
- The caption of the image is also good.
- Perhaps you could include another image, maybe a war image.
Info box:
- Yes, there is an info box, and it is a very nice info box