User:Cspag01/sandbox

According to the World Health Organization, 1.3 million people globally are killed in road traffic accidents each year, and between 20 and 50 million are injured or disabled. Accident survivors, both children and adults, are at an increased risk of PTSD. About 20.0% of children and adolescents were diagnosed with PTSD following a road traffic accident, compared to 22.3% of adults. Females were more likely to be diagnosed with PTSD following a road traffic accident, whether the accident occurred during childhood or adulthood.

Comments

Thanks for adding your proposed changes to your sandbox. Looks good so far. Double check that WHO was not previously defined in the article as we define abbreviations the first time they are used and then can use the abbreviations throughout. I did not notice that it was used, just something to check! Your references are formatted nicely. JenOttawa (talk) 20:44, 5 November 2018 (UTC)

For the {{Cite journal}} template: (a) You do not have to include the "access-date=" parameter if the citation includes a permanent identifier, e.g., doi, PMID, PMC; (b) You do need to include the "source date" (publication date), which is the "date=" parameter. (c) Although the yyyy-mm-dd date format is acceptable on Wikipedia, I personally avoid such all-numerical date formats because they confuse many people. See MOS:DATE, MOS:DATEUNIFY, and Template:Cite journal for more information.   - Mark D Worthen PsyD (talk) 11:20, 11 November 2018 (UTC)

I forgot to say: This is a great addition! Thank you. :o) ... Two grammar points: (a) This phrase is cumbersome and a challenge to decipher: "Both children and adult road traffic accident survivors ...." Consider rewriting it, e.g., "Both child and adult accident survivors ...."

Use 'child' instead of 'children' because people are used to hearing the singular form when a noun serves as a modifier. But even if you change 'children' to 'child', the sentence still sounds awkward, probably because six nouns are strung together. Consider rewriting to something like, "Accident survivors--both children and adults--are at increased risk to develop PTSD."

(b) When you state that "children and adolescents reported PTSD ...", and "Females were more likely to report PTSD ...", did these trauma survivors report PTSD or did psychologists diagnose PTSD?   - Mark D Worthen PsyD (talk) 12:12, 11 November 2018 (UTC)

Thank you for your helpful feedback. I've incorporated your suggestions into my revision. Cspag01 (talk) 20:09, 13 November 2018 (UTC)