User:Becky10/Surdism/Hapalow Peer Review
Peer review
[edit]General info
[edit]- Whose work are you reviewing? Becky10
- Link to draft you're reviewing: User:Becky10/De'VIA
Lead
[edit]Lead evaluation
[edit]I was a little confused at first but from my understanding you will be adding a section about Surdism to the De'VIA page? This information is expanding on the De'VIA manifesto? Though, your section looks great so far but can see a lot of areas for improvement.
Content evaluation
[edit]Seems like you found a lot of information on your topic. Unclear about some quotations marks - your second paragraph started with a quotation mark but not sure where it ended.
Tone and Balance
[edit]Tone and balance evaluation
[edit]There were some things that did not create a neutral tone with using "We, Deaf, …." I would make it third person.
I do not agree that how you stated "Surdism…. encompasses and connects people who master sign language". I think master the language is not the reason Deaf people connect. Deaf people themselves connect through this through shared lived experiences. Not all Deaf people sign, so I would reword this. Again, this would need to be in a neutral tone.
Sources and References
[edit]Sources and references evaluation
[edit]There are no sources/references cited
Organization
[edit]Organization evaluation
[edit]It is a bit disorganized and hard to follow. I was little overwhelmed with all of the information. I would clean it up and make a few short paragraphs.
Images and Media
[edit]Images and media evaluation
[edit]No images/media