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Template:Did you know nominations/Town of Dunedin by-election, 1859

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 09:18, 30 January 2017 (UTC)

Town of Dunedin by-election, 1859

[edit]

5x expanded by J947 (talk). Self-nominated at 22:57, 13 January 2017 (UTC).

  • Please note that your first source is a mirror of Wikipedia; it cannot be used as a source since it is a copy of the article List of New Zealand by-elections. Please replace this source. Mindmatrix 00:01, 15 January 2017 (UTC)
  • checkY Removed. J947 00:23, 15 January 2017 (UTC)
  • The article was expanded from about 520 bytes to over 3300 bytes on the same day it was nominated for DYK, satisfying length and date criteria (but see below). I am assuming good faith for reference 3. The sentence "However, the proposal of Smith was not unanimous, with Mr. G. Smith, seconded by James Kilgour, proposing Mr. James Macandrew for the role" is confusing; perhaps the first "smith" was meant to be "Grant", following the previous sentence? The sentence "considered quite irregular for an elector to propose multiple candidates for an office" is very close to the phrasing of the source; please change it. Much of the article follows the format of the second source, that although it is PD by this point, it'd still be preferred to have a distinct article. Moreover, nearly half of it is quotations, which is a bit much here. (You can easily fix this, as the quotations aren't particularly noteworthy and are easily rephrased.) I suggest reformatting the article to have a "Background" section, in which you could pull all info about Macandrews resignation; I think this would also improve the flow of the article. the sentence "Dyer did not contest the poll" is ambiguous, as "contest" can mean "participate in" or "object to" (the results). You probably mean the former in this case (according to the end of source 2, and per the "Candidate" section). Remainder of the article is OK. You might want to add tidbits from this into the candidate section for Dyer, but that's not a necessity for this DYK nomination, just a suggestion. Mindmatrix 00:57, 15 January 2017 (UTC)
  • I have replaced 'Smith' with 'Grant', tried to less closely paraphrase the phrase 'although since at the time it was considered quite irregular for an elector to propose multiple candidates for an office', rephrased the bits with the quotation marks, and changed the sentence 'Dyer did not contest the poll'. I will probably add a Background sentence later and maybe include some details from this. Further details of my edit are found here. J947 01:24, 15 January 2017 (UTC)
  • I have now added a 'background' section. As for your suggestion, an article has been created for William John Dyer which includes some info from it. J947 08:06, 16 January 2017 (UTC)
Thanks for your updates. By the way, I hadn't intended for you to create a new article for William John Dyer, only to add a bit of info into the table in this article's "Candidates" section. But this works too! Regarding my review, you've addressed all points, but the text of the "Speeches" section is still too close to the referenced material. I'll make changes to one paragraph to demonstrate the intended result of such a change, and expect that you likewise edit the other two paragraphs. Since I forgot to review the hook before, I'll state that it satisfies all criteria, but it's a bit dull, and doesn't clearly identify location for a global audience. What do you think of ALT2? Mindmatrix 19:50, 18 January 2017 (UTC)
@Mindmatrix: I think that ALT1 is good. I'll get to work on the article soon. J947 20:29, 18 January 2017 (UTC)
@Mindmatrix: checkY Rephrased. J947 20:56, 18 January 2017 (UTC)
Good to go for ALT1. Mindmatrix 00:35, 26 January 2017 (UTC)