Template:Did you know nominations/The Story of Mr Sommer

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by SL93 (talk) 08:30, 1 September 2022 (UTC)

The Story of Mr Sommer

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... that the 1991 novella The Story of Mr Sommer, childhood memories told in the first person by Patrick Süskind, was illustrated by Jean-Jacques Sempé? Source: [1] and others
- Reviewed: Scotch Symphony

5x expanded by Gerda Arendt (talk). Self-nominated at 20:31, 16 August 2022 (UTC).

This submission, in light of criteria, is as follows:
Article
1. New (5x expansion) Y
2. Long enough (>1500 characters) Y
3. Within policy Fixed
  1. Is neutral Y
  2. Cites sources with inline citations no Y
    The article contains a direct quotation of "beguiling, unsentimental account of childhood in rural Germany" of a "clever, imaginative, logical and lonely little boy", but does not provide a source. Direct quotations, per policy, need inline citations (see WP:MINREF). Fixed
Hook
1. Format Y
2. Content ?
  The current hook reads like it's missing a word or has some sort of grammar issue. Something like that the 1991 novella The Story of Mr Sommer, which depicts the childhood memories of Patrick Süskind and is told in the first person, was illustrated by Jean-Jacques Sempé? might work, but this doesn't appear to be what the story is about. Right now I don't quite know what the middle part of the sentence between the commas is supposed to convey.
Other
1. QPQ ~~(TK)~~ Y
2. Image (N/A)
Overall, this looks mostly fine. There was a small policy issue that should be easy to rectify and there's a grammar issue that's present in the hook. Once those are resolved ~~and the QPQ is performed~~, this should be good to go. — Red-tailed hawk _(nest) 20:56, 16 August 2022 (UTC)
Thank you for the review, I duplicated refs a bit more. Please keep watching, I may still add. English isn't my first language, help is welcome with hooks, but the "and" construction is not what I prefer, and it doesn't "depict", - it is. There is an immediacy in the narration as if the author told you his story, - that's how I understand the sources, and the excerpt support that. How is this:

ALT0a: ... that the 1991 novella The Story of Mr Sommer, a childhood memoir by Patrick Süskind in first-person narrative, was illustrated by Jean-Jacques Sempé? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 21:20, 16 August 2022 (UTC)
@Gerda Arendt: My bigger issue is that it does not appear to be a literal retelling of the author's childhood (i.e. a memoir); it's a work of fiction. rather, it is said to evoke memories of childhood in his readers and the literary encyclopedia frames it as a charming portrayal of boyhood innocence and experience, which is why I had suggested the word "depict". Based upon that source, how would the following sound?

ALT1: ... that The Story of Mr Sommer, a 1991 novella written by Patrick Süskind and illustrated by Jean-Jacques Sempé, arouses echoes of childhood in its readers through its use of first-person narrative?
Thank you, will think - past midnight, so not now. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 22:29, 16 August 2022 (UTC)

I was out all day, and don't know if I'll get to it because I want to include the second of three meetings of boy and Mr Sommer, which needs careful wording because thoughts of suicide are the topic. No rush. Sempé is still on the Main page, who was my reason to expand. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 19:46, 17 August 2022 (UTC)
Any ideas for another hook then? — Red-tailed hawk _(nest) 19:23, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
Don't know yet. Was out all day, and haven't looked at my watchlist yet. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 19:31, 18 August 2022 (UTC)

I now added a bit, Red-tailed hawk.

ALT2: ... that the 1991 novella The Story of Mr Sommer by Patrick Süskind, illustrated by Jean-Jacques Sempé, tells of a boy's childhood encounters in a German lake-side village of the 1950s in first-person narrative? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 16:00, 19 August 2022 (UTC)
With the minor tweak below, this is good to go!

ALT2 (c/e): ... that the 1991 novella The Story of Mr Sommer by Patrick Süskind, illustrated by Jean-Jacques Sempé, tells of a boy's childhood encounters in a German lakeside village of the 1950s in first-person narrative?

— Red-tailed hawk _(nest) 16:04, 19 August 2022 (UTC)
Note: If the Copyright Cleanup on first-person narrative is completed before this goes live, please bluelink it. Otherwise, we probably should not bluelink it from the main page. — Red-tailed hawk _(nest) 16:06, 19 August 2022 (UTC)