Template:Did you know nominations/South African Air Force Memorial
- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by BlueMoonset (talk) 18:33, 29 August 2014 (UTC)
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South African Air Force Memorial
[edit]... that the South African Air Force Memorial (pictured) overlooks the first air force base of the South African Air Force?
- Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/Aimee Fuller
- Comment: Can this be put on the main page on remembrance day (11/11)? Hook is cited by source 4.
5x expanded by Nathan121212 (talk). Self nominated at 22:29, 9 August 2014 (UTC).
5x expansion confirmed (not counting bulleted list as text in pre-expansion version); length OK; hook fact is cited adequately. Just awaiting a QPQ review. Note there is a free image for this article (at right) that the posting admin may chose to consider - Dumelow (talk) 07:36, 10 August 2014 (UTC)
- @Dumelow:
Done Nathan121212 (talk) 14:11, 10 August 2014 (UTC)
- Can this be featured on Remembrance Day (11 November)? Nathan121212 (talk) 15:12, 10 August 2014 (UTC)
- Sorry, no. Special occasion hooks can only be held for six weeks (with the exception of April Fools' Day hooks). MANdARAX • XAЯAbИAM 21:46, 10 August 2014 (UTC)
- @Mandarax: In that case, can this be put on 1 September (anniversary of unveiling). Nathan121212 (talk) 04:31, 11 August 2014 (UTC)
- That timing would be fine, so anyone who feels it should be saved for that date can move the nomination to the Special occasion holding area. MANdARAX • XAЯAbИAM 21:11, 11 August 2014 (UTC)
- @Dumelow:, did you check the sources for close paraphrasing? Yoninah (talk) 22:47, 13 August 2014 (UTC)
Indeed, on closer inspection there were some phrases used that were similar to a couple of the sources in particular. I have reworded to avoid this and will be more diligent in my checks in future. Thanks for letting me know. @Nathan121212: to make you aware - Dumelow (talk) 19:26, 15 August 2014 (UTC)
- Thanks @Dumelow:. Sorry about that, was trying to work fast to get the 5x expansion. Thanks for your checks. Nathan121212 (talk) 19:30, 15 August 2014 (UTC)
- Another case of the silliness of the 7-day rule's encouragement of rush.
- I wonder if it's really necessary to explain that the air force memorial overlooks the air force base of the air force.
- ALT1
... that the South African Air Force Memorial (pictured) overlooks the nation's first air base? - (The reader can find the article to the SA Air Force through the bolded article.) EEng (talk) 04:12, 18 August 2014 (UTC)
- I like it. Nathan121212 (talk) 04:37, 18 August 2014 (UTC)
- Hi, I just looked at the article and I think both hooks are pretty obvious. How about:
- ALT2:
... that the South African Air Force Memorial (pictured) includes a repository for ashes of past members of the South African Air Force?Yoninah (talk) 09:39, 18 August 2014 (UTC)
- Way better. EEng (talk) 12:47, 18 August 2014 (UTC)
- Seconded Nathan121212 (talk) 13:39, 18 August 2014 (UTC)
- I wonder if it's really necessary to explain that they're past members -- after all, we don't expect to find the ashes of current members in there, do we? Without looking at the article just now, I wonder if fallen members, honored dead, that kind of thing, can be used instead? EEng (talk) 19:21, 18 August 2014 (UTC)
- I quite like the sound of "fallen". Nathan121212 (talk) 19:24, 18 August 2014 (UTC)
- I also thought of "fallen", but the source seems to imply that any past member's ashes are accepted, even if he didn't fall in service. Yoninah (talk) 19:33, 18 August 2014 (UTC)
- How about ALT3:
... that any member of the South African Air Force is eligible to haveNathan121212 (talk) 19:39, 18 August 2014 (UTC)theirhis or her ashes interred at the South African Air Force Memorial (pictured)?- I like it. Does it apply to men and women? (Grammatically, it should read "his" or "his or her" instead of "their"). Yoninah (talk) 19:51, 18 August 2014 (UTC)
- It applies to men and women, adjusting hook accordingly. Nathan121212 (talk) 19:58, 18 August 2014 (UTC)
- I like it. Does it apply to men and women? (Grammatically, it should read "his" or "his or her" instead of "their"). Yoninah (talk) 19:51, 18 August 2014 (UTC)
- I quite like the sound of "fallen". Nathan121212 (talk) 19:24, 18 August 2014 (UTC)
- I wonder if it's really necessary to explain that they're past members -- after all, we don't expect to find the ashes of current members in there, do we? Without looking at the article just now, I wonder if fallen members, honored dead, that kind of thing, can be used instead? EEng (talk) 19:21, 18 August 2014 (UTC)
- Seconded Nathan121212 (talk) 13:39, 18 August 2014 (UTC)
- Way better. EEng (talk) 12:47, 18 August 2014 (UTC)
- ALT4: ... that veterans of the South African Air Force can have their ashes interred at the South African Air Force Memorial (pictured)? EEng (talk) 22:30, 18 August 2014 (UTC)