Template:Did you know nominations/Ruby Loftus Screwing a Breech Ring

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Allen3 ^talk 13:56, 11 March 2014 (UTC)

Ruby Loftus Screwing a Breech Ring

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~~... that a portrait showing Ruby Loftus Screwing a Breech Ring (pictured) shows Ruby's mastery of a technique it took most men eight or nine years to learn?~~

Reviewed: Dorrit Black

Created by Gareth E Kegg (talk), 14GTR (talk). Nominated by Gareth E Kegg (talk) at 00:26, 6 February 2014 (UTC).

All ok, & Good to go. Nice one for March 8, Int Women's Day - female artist and subject etc. Johnbod (talk) 16:02, 6 February 2014 (UTC)

The hook with "showing Ruby/shows Ruby's" looks awkward to me.
ALT1: ~~... that Ruby Loftus Screwing a Breech Ring (pictured) shows Ruby's mastery of a technique which took most men eight or nine years to learn?~~ MANdARAX • XAЯAbИAM 01:22, 7 February 2014 (UTC)

I can't see it myself, & prefer the original, but whatever. Johnbod (talk) 02:35, 7 February 2014 (UTC) Or:

There isn't a problem but it is awkward. Prefer ALT1. — LlywelynII 02:29, 25 February 2014 (UTC)

Actually, there is a problem: The article doesn't support the hook. It says that the task was only entrusted to men with 8 or 9 years' experience, not that it actually took that long for most (in fact any) men to learn the skill. I understand the somewhat adversarial nature implied and desired, but the current phrasing is a mistruth. — LlywelynII 04:18, 25 February 2014 (UTC)

ALT2~~... that the portrait of Ruby Loftus Screwing a Breech Ring (pictured) shows Ruby's mastery of a technique it took most men eight or nine years to learn?~~

Same problem as above. — LlywelynII 04:21, 25 February 2014 (UTC)

ALT3 ... that Laura Knight's Ruby Loftus Screwing a Breech Ring (pictured) was the British equivalent of Rosie the Riveter and brought its subject instant fame? as a less misandrist and (see above) more factual hook. — LlywelynII 04:18, 25 February 2014 (UTC)

ALT4... that Laura Knight's painting shows Ruby Loftus Screwing a Breech Ring (pictured) which was a task usually entrusted to machinists with 8 or 9 years' experience?

ALT4 addresses Llywelyn's point and also mentions Laura Knight Victuallers (talk) 13:47, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

Added link to ALT4, if that was a concern. — LlywelynII 15:29, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

Full review needed of the various hooks (I have struck the problematic ones), and since the original review failed to explain what was checked, the new reviewer should detail what was checked, i.e., length, newness, neutrality, hook sourcing, article sourcing, close paraphrasing, and so on. Thanks. BlueMoonset (talk) 18:52, 9 March 2014 (UTC)

New enough, long enough, adequately footnoted, and I didn't see evidence of close paraphrasing or other policy problems. Image license is OK. Both of the remaining hooks are mostly supported by the article and sources, but need to be reworded slightly to be fully consistent with the article and sources. ALT 3 needed rewording because I saw no indication of the painting being "equivalent to" Rose the Riveter, nor any suggestion that it was intended to emulate a U.S. image. As for ALT4, the article doesn't support the "entrusted" wording; also, I found the wording of ALT4 difficult to parse. Here are my rewordings:

ALT3A ... that Laura Knight's Ruby Loftus Screwing a Breech Ring (pictured) was compared to Rosie the Riveter and brought its subject instant fame?
ALT4A... that the painting Ruby Loftus Screwing a Breech Ring (pictured) shows the 21-year-old woman doing a task usually done by male machinists with at least 8 or 9 years' experience?

The image adds value to these hooks. It would be more effective for DYK, however, if it focused on a detail. I'm uploading a cropped version. --Orlady (talk) 04:15, 11 March 2014 (UTC) The cropped version (detail pictured) is now to the left of the original image. --Orlady (talk) 04:19, 11 March 2014 (UTC)