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Template:Did you know nominations/King Edward's Place

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Theleekycauldron (talk) 04:39, 3 September 2021 (UTC)

King Edward's Place

Created by Owain.davies (talk). Self-nominated at 16:02, 18 August 2021 (UTC).

General: Article is new enough and long enough
Policy: Article is sourced, neutral, and free of copyright problems
Hook: Hook has been verified by provided inline citation
QPQ: Done.

Overall: I prefer the first hook; it is catchy and to the point.
The usage of PGL's own website as a source makes me uncomfortable - are there no secondary, independent RSes? The section about the various activities offered by PGL sounds vaguely promotional and similar in tone to what they would write on their own website. It should be written more neutrally.
The article seems to be comprised of a large number of single-line paragraphs, including one incomplete sentence in the section about Jimmy White. The prose should have complete sentences and should preferably be condensed into larger paragraphs.
QPQ: Waiting—I see nominator is currently reviewing Sefine Shipyard. Wilhelm Tell DCCXLVI talk | fings wot i hav dun 15:16, 19 August 2021 (UTC)

    • Thanks for the helpful feedback. I've tried to address the prose in those two sections as suggested, hope that helps. I took the view that primary sources were appropriate in terms of what they offer at this centre, and I can't seem to come up with much in the way of third party sources which talk about them offering these things at this centre. I can find citations that say that PGL in general do these things, but not necessarily at this centre. Any further thoughts welcome. OwainDavies (about)(talk) edited at 11:24, 20 August 2021 (UTC)
Owain.davies, it's all good to go now. Waiting for your QPQ. If the nominator there hasn't responded you could review something else and ask on Wikipedia talk:DYK for someone else to take over Sefine Shipyard's nomination. Wilhelm Tell DCCXLVI talk | fings wot i hav dun 17:43, 26 August 2021 (UTC)
Owain.davies I see that the Sefine Shipyard review is temporarily on hold, but I think you've done due diligence in the review and trust you will take it to completion, so I'll pass this DYK. Cheers, and happy editing!
the first hook ("...children's activity centre"). Kind regards, Wilhelm Tell DCCXLVI talk | fings wot i hav dun 16:40, 29 August 2021 (UTC)
To T:DYK/P3