Template:Did you know nominations/INS Kamorta
- The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by PumpkinSky talk 12:01, 4 July 2013 (UTC)
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INS Kamorta
[edit]- ... that the Kamorta is the first stealth corvette being built for the Indian Navy?
5x expanded by Strike Eagle (talk). Self nominated at 14:38, 18 June 2013 (UTC).
A1: New enough. A2: Long enough (expanded). A3: Neutral. Cites sources, but some cites are missing. Some issues also with regards to the text being too similar to the sources.
- Article: "The ship is built using high-tensile steel and employs very low under water voice signature. It features the ‘X’ form of hull and superstructure resulting in a very low radar cross section. Also, the hull form reportedly highly efficient with excellent sea-keeping and maneuverability characteristics."
- Source: "The P 28 class ships feature the ‘X’ form of hull and superstructure which give the ships a low radar cross section. Also, the hull form is highly efficient with excellent sea-keeping and maneuverability characteristics"
- The high-tensile steel bit in the article is actually contradicted by the cited source, which states that the original intention was to use high-tensile steel, but that local steel was used instead.
- H1: Short enough hook. H2: I find the hook very interesting, it is cited, and it is neutral. However, it isn't really being built by the Indian Navy, is it? Rather, it is being built for the Indian Navy.
- Nominator appears to only have four DYKs (QPQ check says three, but Strike Eagle's talk says four), so QPQ is not a requirement.
- So, for this nomination to be successful, the following issues needs to be resolved:
- 1. The close paraphrasing issues and contradiction between the article and the source need to be fixed. 2. The missing citations need to be added. 3. Hook and article both need to say what the sources are actually saying, that the ship is being for the Indian Navy, not by it. 4. I think that the hook fact shouldn't just be in the article's lead, but in the main body also.
- Although not vital for DYK, I also think that a decision should be made if the article is to use she or it in reference to the ship, right now the article uses both. Also, INS Shivalik is missing italics. And what does "4,000 nm (0.00016 in)" mean?
- When these issues are resolved, I think this can be a good DYK. Manxruler (talk) 22:10, 25 June 2013 (UTC)
- And at least two of the references are incorrectly formatted. That will also need to be fixed. Manxruler (talk) 00:35, 26 June 2013 (UTC)
- I think I have fixed them all... :) Thanks, ƬheStrikeΣagle sorties 16:01, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
- 1. The close paraphrasing has been changed, but I'm not completely happy yet. For example "The hull form of the ships is reported to be highly efficient and is said to possess excellent sea-keeping and maneuverability characteristics." is close to the source's "Also, the hull form is highly efficient with excellent sea-keeping and maneuverability characteristics" (my emphasis) Quotes need to be clearly marked as such.
- 2. Sufficient citations now.
- 3. Hook fact has been fixed in the article, but please do so in the hook too.
- 4. I'd still like to see the hook fact in the body of the article, not just in the lead.
- Pronoun and italics issues fixed. Manxruler (talk) 22:52, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
- I think I have fixed them all... :) Thanks, ƬheStrikeΣagle sorties 16:01, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
- And at least two of the references are incorrectly formatted. That will also need to be fixed. Manxruler (talk) 00:35, 26 June 2013 (UTC)
- 1. More serious issues here. It's not okay to copy the source text, and then change a few words. We have to write our articles in our own words. I have to ask, why do you copy the text of the sources? That's not allowed, you know?
- Now I've found:
- Your text: It is equipped with a 'rail-less helo traversing system' to handle a helicopter on board the ship, a foldable hangar door, and uses indigenous DMR 249A steel and carbon fibre reinforced plastic (CFRP).[
- Source: The P-28 ASW corvettes are equipped with a 'rail-less helo traversing system' to handle a helicopter on board the ship, foldable hangar door, and use of indigenous DMR 249A steel and carbon fibre reinforced plastic (CFRP).
- Your text: "The ships is the first Indian ship to feature a carbon fiber reinforced plastic (CFRP) superstructure integrated with the steel hull of the ship. Besides reducing the weight, the use of composites also improves stealth characteristics and reduces life cycle maintenance costs."
- Source: The ships are the first in India to feature a carbon fiber reinforced plastic (CFRP) superstructure integrated with the steel hull of the ship. Besides reducing the weight, the use of composites improves stealth characteristics and reduces life cycle maintenance costs.
- This is copy-vio, and strictly forbidden on Wikipedia. You can't simply copy stuff, like you've clearly done here. Rewrite it, using your own words.
- 2. Still good.
- 3. Fixed. Good.
- 4. I'm happy to see the hook fact in the body of the article now.
- The ship has an endurance of 4,000 kn? Manxruler (talk) 11:26, 30 June 2013 (UTC)
- I've removed the close-paraphrasings and made other fixes..extremely sorry for all the mess... Thanks, ƬheStrikeΣagle sorties 12:27, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
It looks like it's good enough. One small note: The sources say 3800 KW diesel engines, not 3888 KW diesel engines. Manxruler (talk) 22:44, 3 July 2013 (UTC)
