Template:Did you know nominations/Henrietta Bruckman
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- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by 97198 (talk) 08:40, 24 January 2023 (UTC)
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Henrietta Bruckman
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that Henrietta Bruckman (pictured) founded the first women's fraternal organization in the United States?Source: Schmidt, Alvin J. (1980). Fraternal Organizations. The Greenwood Encyclopedia of American Institutions. Westport, Conn.: Greenwood Press. pp. 333–334. ISBN 0-313-21436-0.
Created by Ploni (talk). Self-nominated at 00:11, 1 January 2023 (UTC).
- @Ploni: Thanks for your work on this bio! The article is new enough, with citations, and the QPQ is done. There are two issues that jump out: 1) Use of PD content, as indicated in the References section. According to DYK rules, we can only count "new" content toward the total character count; any portions that have been copied from elsewhere do not count. I've taken a quick look via Earwig, and it doesn't appear that you actually have copied a lot of PD content into the article – the main thing that jumps out are a few phrases which could easily be rephrased. But anyway, would you be able to take a look at this again and revise/rework/restructure a bit, maybe layer in information from additional sources, so that the PD tag can be removed and we don't have to wrangle over how many words came from PD sources and how many did not? 2) The first source cited in the article actually doesn't quite back up the claim in the hook – it says the UOTS itself *claims* to be the first women's fraternal and philanthropic organization in the United States – which is not the same as verifying that it is. So the hook would need to be reworded to reflect that, or maybe there are alternative hooks you could propose? Cielquiparle (talk) 23:03, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review! I've updated the article. Good point about the prompt, how about the following? Ploni💬 03:52, 2 January 2023 (UTC)
- ALT1: ... that Henrietta Bruckman (pictured) founded the first fraternal organization for Jewish women in the United States? Source: Schneiderman, Harry, ed. (1931). The American Jewish Year Book 5692. Vol. 33. Philadelphia: The Jewish Publication Society of America. p. 170.
- @Ploni: ALT1 sounds like it might work, but the fact cited in the hook needs to appear in the article, with a source or sources that clearly verify the factual claim. Cielquiparle (talk) 08:32, 2 January 2023 (UTC)
- Right—I've changed the lede with the fact cited in the hook. Ploni💬 15:14, 2 January 2023 (UTC)
- @Ploni: Cool, thanks. Now the hook and the lede check out...but we need the article to be a bit longer – it's now at 1282 characters and we need at least 1500 of prose to pass. (It wasn't flagged earlier because the PD notice was erroneously counted as prose.) Cielquiparle (talk) 15:24, 2 January 2023 (UTC)
- @Cielquiparle: I've expanded it to 1613 characters, so it should be good now! Ploni💬 18:19, 3 January 2023 (UTC)
- Approved to go with ALT1. Continuing review: Article is now long enough, neutral in tone, no copyvio, and no republishing of PD content. Hook has been revised and verified against the source (fact cited is on the second page). Striking ALT0 so there's no confusion. Cielquiparle (talk) 22:08, 3 January 2023 (UTC)
- @Cielquiparle: I've expanded it to 1613 characters, so it should be good now! Ploni💬 18:19, 3 January 2023 (UTC)
- @Ploni: Cool, thanks. Now the hook and the lede check out...but we need the article to be a bit longer – it's now at 1282 characters and we need at least 1500 of prose to pass. (It wasn't flagged earlier because the PD notice was erroneously counted as prose.) Cielquiparle (talk) 15:24, 2 January 2023 (UTC)
- Right—I've changed the lede with the fact cited in the hook. Ploni💬 15:14, 2 January 2023 (UTC)
- @Ploni: ALT1 sounds like it might work, but the fact cited in the hook needs to appear in the article, with a source or sources that clearly verify the factual claim. Cielquiparle (talk) 08:32, 2 January 2023 (UTC)