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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: rejected by Theleekycauldron (talk) 20:45, 6 February 2023 (UTC)

DYK toolbox

Drag Den

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5x expanded by JuanGLP (talk). Self-nominated at 14:07, 18 November 2022 (UTC).

  • Original: "... that Manila Luzon is set to host and judge her upcoming Philippine reality competition television series on Amazon Prime Video, containing eight contestants competing for the crown, named Drag Den?"
  • ALT 1: "... that RuPaul's Drag Race alumna, Manila Luzon, announced the premiere date for her upcoming reality series, Drag Den, containing eight contestants competing for the crown?"
  • ALT 2: "... that upcoming reality show named, Drag Den, is set to premiere on 8 December 2022 with RuPaul's Drag Race alumna, Manila Luzon, hosting and judging the reality show?"
  • ALT 3: "... that Drag Den is the second reality competition series to contain Filipino drag queens competing for the crown and title in the Philippines, the first series being Drag Race Philippines?"
  • ALT 4: "... that Drag Den is the second reality competition series set in the Philippines, containing Filipino drag queens competing for the crown, with the first series being Drag Race Philippines?"
  • ALT 5: "... that reality competition series, Drag Den, is the second franchise set in the Philippines, containing Filipino drag queens competing for a prize, with the first series being Drag Race Philippines?"
  • ALT 6: "... that auditions for the first season of Drag Den were held over TikTok?"
  • ALT 6a: "... that auditions for the first season of Philippine reality series Drag Den were held over TikTok?"
  • ALT 6b: "... that auditions for the first season of Drag Den were held over TikTok with RuPaul's Drag Race alumna, Manila Luzon, as the host and judge?"
  • Comment: It may look wordy but if there are any ALTs, please suggest them so it can be less wordy. — JuanGLP (talk) 14:20, 18 November 2022 (UTC)
The article is new enough and long enough and I didn't find any close paraphrasing. No QPQ needed as the nominator has only one prior DYK nomination. However, I have reservations about the hook. It doesn't really read like a hook, more like a news item or a promo. In addition, it seems to be reliant on the reader knowing who Manila Luzon is. Perhaps a different direction can be used here? Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 06:22, 19 November 2022 (UTC)
@Narutolovehinata5: I tried to reworded it sound it a bit less promotional. If there's any advice to help the hook, please tell me. — JuanGLP (talk) 14:43, 19 November 2022 (UTC)
@JuanGLP: I think a completely different direction in hook fact is needed here since I don't think the hook is going to interest people unfamiliar with the names involved. Given that this is about Filipino entertainment, I'll ask help from Pseud 14 to see what other hook options are possible. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 01:16, 20 November 2022 (UTC)
@Narutolovehinata5: Okay, thank you for getting help. I did reworded the hook again. I will try to type it better. — JuanGLP (talk) 15:13, 20 November 2022 (UTC)
I really don't think these angles about Manila Luzon or the premiere is working out. Since this is about a television series, maybe I can also ask Theleekycauldron for ideas about a hook. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 00:15, 21 November 2022 (UTC)
@Narutolovehinata5: Here are three more alternative hooks. What do you think? I removed the mention of Manila Luzon. Any thoughts on those hooks? Also, did you manage to get a response for the help on the hook? — JuanGLP (talk) 13:10, 21 November 2022 (UTC)
I'm still waiting for Theleekycauldron's response before responding further. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 01:26, 22 November 2022 (UTC)
  • Comment: While we're here, I'd suggest making some more thorough prose and sourcing checks on the article; looks a bit promotional to me, and some sources aren't fantastic. theleekycauldron (talk • contribs) (she/her) 04:14, 22 November 2022 (UTC)
Well ALT 5 doesn’t really sound promotional, and doesn’t ALT 6 needs to have at least 200 characters? Please check the ALTs I placed. Now with the sources, we have plenty of sources in the article, you can check that out. I will write more ALTs to sound less promotional. — JuanGLP (talk) 12:18, 22 November 2022 (UTC)
At most 200 hundred characters. Please keep them as short as possible :) theleekycauldron (talk • contribs) (she/her) 12:27, 22 November 2022 (UTC)
Okay, well I believe ALT 5 sounds like a possible hook, though your hook sounds good, it should have more context about Drag Den. — JuanGLP (talk) 14:26, 22 November 2022 (UTC)
I suggested an ALT 6a. Does it sound good? Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 00:52, 23 November 2022 (UTC)
Ehhh... I guess since there is a little bit more of wording. I support for ALT 6A. — JuanGLP (talk) 14:38, 24 November 2022 (UTC)

I suppose this article should first go through WP:GOCE/R to fix the awkward wording before it can be given final approval. Per the above discussion, I've struck all hook proposals except for ALT6a (which is direct to the point, cited inline and verified, and gives context about the series that would clarify it to those who are unfamiliar with it). Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 03:13, 29 November 2022 (UTC)

Well okie dokie, thank you for your help, please let me know if the DYK? hook went through. — JuanGLP (talk) 13:48, 1 December 2022 (UTC)
@JuanGLP: Just to clarify: this is still in need of a GOCE copyedit. I noticed that a request has yet to be made, so I am reiterating that I will not be approving this until such a copyedit has been completed. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 23:14, 13 December 2022 (UTC)
@Narutolovehinata5:, I do not know what that means… — JuanGLP (talk) 23:20, 13 December 2022 (UTC)
@JuanGLP: Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors/Requests has some instructions you can follow. Actually I've gone ahead and requested a copyedit myself. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 23:36, 13 December 2022 (UTC)
Narutolovehinata5, it isn't going to be feasible to wait for GOCE; your request still has 50 articles ahead of it even after waiting over a month, and probably won't be taken for copyediting until sometime in March at this point. If someone can't edit the article to improve the prose sufficiently soon, the nomination should be considered for closure. (I don't think we can offer GOCE as a solution at DYK any more, given its long backlog and the slow movement of the requests list.) BlueMoonset (talk) 17:35, 14 January 2023 (UTC)
  • Given the existing article issues and the lack of progress the nomination probably has to be closed as unsuccessful. It can resume if the issues are addressed before the nomination is closed. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 22:38, 18 January 2023 (UTC)
What issues needs to be addressed? — JuanGLP (talk) 04:38, 19 January 2023 (UTC)
The article is still in need of a major copyedit. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 05:46, 19 January 2023 (UTC)
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