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Template:Did you know nominations/Bridget van Kralingen

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by sstflyer 08:21, 22 September 2015 (UTC)

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Bridget van Kralingen

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Created by Yoninah (talk). Self-nominated at 22:56, 10 September 2015 (UTC).

  • I checked the hook and looked over sources and saw no close paraphrasing. Its neutral. I think that a hook based on having 100,000 consultants or the graphene phone might be more hooky (that a lot of advice!).... but this one is OK. There is no picture (when are these companies going to learn about licensing ??). Its new enough and long enough. Thanks for this Victuallers (talk) 13:45, 11 September 2015 (UTC)
Fine - I did take out some of the needless words like "more than" as if she oversees "more than 100,000" then she must "oversee 100,000" and its less weasely. I also changed "managers" as everyone has them (bar Wikipedia!!). I'd be tempted to lose either the 100,000 or the 170 fact as either is impressive. I would pare it back to the single fact but maybe this is too far but something like "that Bridget van Kralingen of IBM, oversees 100,000 consultants and practitionersservice providers? " But all of this is just opinion, the tick remains. Cheers Victuallers (talk) 06:53, 16 September 2015 (UTC)
OK, whatever the prep builder decides. I changed "practitioners" to "service providers" to avoid close paraphrasing. Yoninah (talk) 10:24, 16 September 2015 (UTC)
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