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Template:Did you know nominations/Ayahs' Home

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:25, 15 April 2018 (UTC)

Ayahs' Home

[edit]
Inside the Ayahs' Home
Inside the Ayahs' Home
Inside the Ayahs' Home
Inside the Ayahs' Home
  • ... that the Ayahs' Home in London, provided a refuge for Indian ayahs and Chinese amahs that were "ill-treated, dismissed from service or simply abandoned"?
Alternative image shown.

Created by Whispyhistory (talk) and Philafrenzy (talk). Nominated by Philafrenzy (talk) at 10:37, 11 March 2018 (UTC).


General: Article is new enough and long enough

Policy compliance:

  • Adequate sourcing: Yes
  • Neutral: No - I'm concerned about there being too much editorialization in this page. I think this article should be checked over for unnecessary details and unencyclopedic writing. For example:
    • In "Matron's testimony", the sentence One particular story struck a chord with Mrs Dunn, sounds too colloquial. Something like "Mrs Dunn was moved by one particular story" should be sufficient.
    • In "Missionary activity", do you really need to describe that On return from the ship, had it not been for a piece of flotsam to clutch, he may have drowned.
  • Free of copyright violations, plagiarism, and close paraphrasing: No - This report from the Copyvio Detector shows a few phrases of concern.

Hook eligibility:

  • Cited: Yes
  • Interesting: No - I'm an American whose native language is English and I don't know what an ayah is. I'm pretty sure non-native English speakers will be even more confused. How about:
    • ALT1: ... that the Ayahs' Home in London provided a refuge for Indian ayahs and Chinese amahs, domestic servants who were "ill-treated, dismissed from service or simply abandoned"?

Image eligibility:

QPQ: Done.

Overall: epicgenius (talk) 19:38, 13 March 2018 (UTC)

Thanks for your review Epicgenius, to take your points in order:
  • I agree that the text needs tightening. Please give us a couple of days to go through it and do that. I have already rectified the two specific cases you mentioned.
  • Article edited to reduce the matches on Earwig which are now mainly titles and similar.
  • Since ayah is linked in the hook I am not sure we need to explain it further in the hook. There are often terms in hooks that I don't understand.
  • They are cropped and uncropped versions of the same picture so that the person who assembles the set can use a picture that displays better in thumbnail if they wish.

Philafrenzy (talk) 21:56, 13 March 2018 (UTC)

    • @Philafrenzy: I'm not sure about the link to "ayah" being sufficient for explanation, because there are many people who would not want to click onto an additional link if they aren't so inclined. This could detract potential readers who, if they knew what an ayah was, might actually say, "That's interesting, let me click on that." I see your point about the cropped version, though: if it's a derivative, it should be fine. Just ping me when you are done with the copyedits. epicgenius (talk) 22:09, 13 March 2018 (UTC)
Thanks, if you are inclined you could tick both just let the person compiling the set decide. It's not a biggie. Philafrenzy (talk) 22:17, 13 March 2018 (UTC)
  • thank you both. If helps..Ayahs were “more than just domestic help” [1]. “nannies’ would be more acceptable if necessary to explain. The link should be adequate. If problem then it is also in English dictionary [2]. Whispyhistory (talk) 22:39, 13 March 2018 (UTC)
I understand that ayah's are regarded as more than simply domestic servants in India. We don't want to cause offence, so how about:
Alt 2 ... that the Ayahs' Home in London provided a refuge for Indian and Chinese nannies who were "ill-treated, dismissed from service or simply abandoned"? Does lose the link to ayah however. Philafrenzy (talk) 23:11, 13 March 2018 (UTC)
Sure, that could work as well. epicgenius (talk) 00:04, 14 March 2018 (UTC)
Struck the first two hooks. Philafrenzy (talk) 09:15, 14 March 2018 (UTC)
@Whispyhistory and Philafrenzy: have you finished your copyedits of this article yet? epicgenius (talk) 13:28, 21 March 2018 (UTC)
I think so, take another look please. Philafrenzy (talk) 18:33, 25 March 2018 (UTC)
Sorry for the delay. I will re-review this shortly. epicgenius (talk) 20:49, 4 April 2018 (UTC)
ALT2 looks good to go now. All the issues I brought up have been resolved. epicgenius (talk) 22:06, 4 April 2018 (UTC)