Template:Did you know nominations/Érick Valencia Salazar
- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 06:09, 26 September 2018 (UTC)
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Érick Valencia Salazar
[edit]... that the Guadalajara International Airport cancelled several flights after the arrest of Érick Valencia Salazar?Source: "Spanish: También el aeropuerto de Guadalajara resultó afectado: se cancelaron algunos vuelos y se demoró la llegada de otros. / English: Also the airport of Guadalajara was affected: some flights were canceled and the arrival of others was delayed." (Sin Embargo)- ALT1:
... that the U.S. Consulate in Guadalajara issued a warning to Americans living there after the arrest of Érick Valencia Salazar?Source: "Spanish: En tanto, el consulado de Estados Unidos pidió a todos los ciudadanos de ese país asentados en la región tomar toda clase de precauciones. / English: Meanwhile, the US consulate asked all citizens of that country settled in the region to take all kinds of precautions." (Sin Embargo) - ALT2:
... that the Mexican government asked civilians in Guadalajara to stay indoors after the arrest of Érick Valencia Salazar?Source: "Spanish: ... motivó que las autoridades sugirieran a la población no salir de sus casas o centros de trabajo para permitir el más rápido tránsito de los cuerpos de seguridad. / English: it motivated authorities to suggest civilians to not to leave their houses or work centers to allow the quickest transit of the security forces." (La Jornada)
- ALT1:
- Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/SpongeBob SquarePants (season 9)
- Comment: Complex biography involving a man who the government suspects he is a criminal, but violated his due process and mishandled evidence before presenting the case in court. Subject in question was released due to these violations, but investigators still suspect he is active.
Moved to mainspace by MX (talk). Self-nominated at 13:23, 29 August 2018 (UTC).
5x expansion verified. New enough, long enough, neutrally written, no close paraphrasing seen in English-language sources. Image in article is fair use. QPQ done.- At first I thought that ALT2 was good, but upon reading the article, I see the reason for the alert was more because of the shootout going on in the streets. I think you could make a better hook around the idea that the firefight broke out to allow Salazar's allies to escape undetected, or perhaps another, more vivid fact from the article. BTW I removed a number of boldfaced ref tags; not sure why they were there. Yoninah (talk) 13:20, 21 September 2018 (UTC)
- Hi Yoninah, thanks for the thorough review and copyedits. The boldfaced ref tags were my fault. I'm pretty sure I forgot to remove them while the article was still a draft. When I'm writing a large paragraph, I tend to bold certain sentences to remind myself that they need a source, as I usually find myself juggling 5+ sources at a single time (and I sometimes accidentally close out a tab with a source I've already used in by writing but haven't cited yet). So I bold the text if that happens to make sure I get back to it before moving the draft to the mainspace. See two bold sentences in the draft here.
- Anyways, I'll provide a more vivid hook. Let me know what you think of this one:
- ALT3:
... that gunmen set 25 vehicles on fire across Jalisco in an attempt to rescue suspected drug lord Érick Valencia Salazar in 2012?Source: "Spanish: ... Cómplices del líder del cártel Jalisco Nueva Generación intentaron rescatar a su jefe ... el mandatario convocó a la prensa para leer un comunicado, en el que detalló que durante el día se registraron 25 incendios de vehículos –todos pertenecientes al sistema de transporte urbano– en 16 puntos de la entidad, 11 en la zona metropolitana de Guadalajara. / English: Accomplices of the leader of the Jalisco New Generation cartel tried to rescue their boss ... the president called the press to read a statement, which detailed that during the day there were 25 vehicle fires -all belonging to the urban transport system- in 16 points of the entity, 11 in the metropolitan area of Guadalajara." (La Jornada)
- I suspected that was the case with the bold links. In my article drafts on my computer, I highlight the parts needing references in blue.
- This alt is better, but I think it could still use more color. The year also seems superfluous. It was the CJNG, not gunmen, who challenged the army, right? What about:
- ALT4:
... that the CJNG criminal group hijacked and set afire dozens of vehicles and engaged in a shootout with Mexican Army soldiers in an attempt to rescue suspected drug lord Érick Valencia Salazar? - ALT5: ... that after the arrest of suspected drug lord Érick Valencia Salazar, shootouts, burning vehicles, and roadblocks were staged as a diversion to allow his allies to escape Guadalajara undetected? Yoninah (talk) 18:27, 22 September 2018 (UTC)
- @Yoninah: Yes, the government claims it was the CJNG. But since Érick Valencia Salazar has not been convicted, I don't want this to get flagged for NPOV for any mention that includes the CJNG in the hook. I'm also not aware if the people who caused the attacks were ever convicted "of being CJNG members", so I usually try to use neutral terms like suspected "assailants", "gunmen", "perpetrators".
- I like ALT5 a lot. I've changed "Salazar's allies" to "his allies". His first last name is Valencia (paternal) and most sources call him "El 85", "Valencia", or "Valencia Salazar". Though if we stick to any of those in the hook, I'm sure readers will be confused. I've been sticking to aliases with this family more often now because of shared last names. MX (✉ • ✎) 22:53, 22 September 2018 (UTC)
- @MX: Thank you. If you prefer, we could write:
- ALT5a: ... that after the arrest of suspected drug lord El 85, shootouts, burning vehicles, and roadblocks were staged as a diversion to allow his allies to escape Guadalajara undetected?
Since I wrote the hook, we need a new reviewer for ALT5/5a. Yoninah (talk) 23:44, 22 September 2018 (UTC)
