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Talk:You May Now Kiss the... Uh... Guy Who Receives/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Kaguya-chan (talk) 17:37, 5 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hi. I'll be reviewing this article soon. :) Kaguya-chan (talk) 17:37, 5 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
Comments:
  • The picture of Brian and Jaspar needs alt text
  • The fair-use rationale for File:FGKissGuyWhoReceives.jpg is not clear.
  • In Cultural references, "and the television show Sex and the City are shown. Peter sings with the band The Proclaimers the backing vocals of "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)". Adam West had swallowed a People magazine and the board game Stratego. Stewie gives Mayor West a key to a Volkswagen Scirocco, in return for West dropping kidnapping charges against Brian." is not sourced
    • All of the items are mentioned and shown. Do you want me to source it to the episode itself, or just remove them if I can't find a third party source? CTJF83 chat 19:28, 5 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
      • Third-party sources or if there is something in the commentary of the DVD that talks about it, that works too. Kaguya-chan (talk) 20:09, 5 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
        • Nothing on the DVD about those, I can look for third party sources. So it isn't enough that, for example, Mayor West says something along the lines of "I have Stratego, does anyone want to play Stratego", and holds up the game? I understand you wanting a source, just want to clarify. CTJF83 chat 20:17, 5 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
          • Hm. That is a pretty obvious reference to the game. Well, third-party sources are prefered, but if they can't be found for that reference to Stratego, you can source that one to the episode and put in Mayor West's quote. Kaguya-chan (talk) 20:35, 5 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
            • Sorry, changed my mind. Even though that is a really obvious reference to Stratego, allowing it to be sourced to the episode opens the door to original research. Sorry. See if any third party sources mention any of the cultural references that are now currently sourced to the episode. Kaguya-chan (talk) 21:21, 7 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • The Reception section is short and only has two reviews
  • "It was the eighty-first most watched show of the week tied with Rock Star: INXS." is confusing. Reword the sentence?
  • What makes The Futon Critic, vindy.com, and film.com reliable sources?
  • The airdate of the episode is not sourced
  • In the lead: "Brian's cousin Jasper, who is gay, comes to Quahog with his boyfriend Ricardo to get married. Mayor Adam West tries to ban gay marriage to divert attention from a bad investment he made with the taxpayers' money. Brian fights for gay marriage and ends up taking Mayor West hostage to get his view across." What about "In the episode, Brian's cousin Jaspar..."?
  • Dates for the refs need to be consistant
  • If Adam West is a guest star, then don't forget to list him in the infobox as a guest star

I've put the review on hold. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, or here with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. Kaguya-chan (talk) 18:25, 5 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, I believe I fixed the concerns. I added one more reception, but I'm having trouble finding anymore. As far as futon critic, I've seen it on several other article pages, so I assumed it was a good source to use. CTJF83 chat 19:46, 5 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Nice work. :) Futon Critic looks reliable. Kaguya-chan (talk) 21:21, 7 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Just to add something: "Seth MacFarlane said he came up with the idea for the episode while writing a pilot with two gay men." What do you mean by "pilot"? Pilot episode? If so, it should be written out like that, and wiki-linked. Also, the first paragraph of the production section is too repetitive. The first three sentences begin: "Seth MacFarlane said", "He said", "He said". It needs rewording. Ωphois 11:41, 9 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
FIxed--Pedro J. the rookie 15:51, 9 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Actually, that made it worse. I'll look at it later. Ωphois 16:25, 9 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Okay, I fixed the wording, but the "pilot" thing still needs to be fixed. Also, IMO, the production info revolving the crew and cast should be removed. It's already listed in the lead or infobox. Unless any other useful information can be provided in order to expand it, it's basically just repeating information. Ωphois 17:08, 9 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
no that info is needed as it has details and is the base of many episodes of GA status--Pedro J. the rookie 17:22, 9 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
It is the base of many episodes when it adds to the article. If it is not relevant to any of the production info, then it is not needed. I just went to six random GA TV episode articles, and only one indiscriminately listed production crew like this article. Ωphois 17:49, 9 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, the article is almost there. Last few concerns:

  • Adam West doesn't need to be linked every time he is mentioned
  • Neither does Brian, Mayor West nor Seth McFarlane.
  • Last sentence of reception: about.com should be capitalized
  • The reference to Sex in the City needs a source
What sentence--Pedro J. the rookie 20:28, 10 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Cultural references, sentence 3. Kaguya-chan (talk) 20:43, 10 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Done--Pedro J. the rookie 20:51, 10 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Okay, well "The movie, The Sound of Music" is not a sentence. Kaguya-chan (talk) 20:59, 10 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Done--Pedro J. the rookie 22:33, 10 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Er, still not a sentence. Try "The film, The Sound of Music, also appears in the episode." Kaguya-chan (talk) 22:37, 10 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
done--Pedro J. the rookie 22:58, 10 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Suggestion:

  • In reception, first sentence: change "The episode had an average of 7.8 million viewers and was the eighty-first most watched show of the week.[8]" to ""You May Now Kiss the... Uh... Guy Who Receives" had an average of 7.8 million viewers and was the eighty-first most watched show of the week.[8]" Remind the readers which episode this is.
Kaguya-chan (talk) 20:20, 10 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Related to the reception section... it does not really give any reviews. It just says that so-and-so liked the episode, and so did so-and-so. Why did they like the episode? Ωphois 21:13, 10 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The reviewers didn't go into detail about why they liked it, sadly. Kaguya-chan (talk) 23:46, 10 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Well, you're the reviewer, so the decision is up to you, but if it is to meet GA standards, the reception section IMO really needs a tad bit improving. Ωphois 00:27, 11 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I agree. The reception section does need a bit more detail. So here's a review of the series/ episode by the Parents Television Council to add to the reception. Kaguya-chan (talk) 01:42, 11 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Done with The PTC--Pedro J. the rookie 15:28, 11 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I was trying to fix up the reception section, and I noticed that the IGN review wasn't even talking about the episode itself... it was referring to the DVD commentary. Thus, I removed it. Ωphois 10:48, 11 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Is the episode not done.--Pedro J. the rookie 13:11, 11 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I think its done your concerns are done--Pedro J. the rookie 00:16, 11 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

What happened to the infobox picture? Ωphois 17:35, 11 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
it was removed as it did not have enough use, or copyright--Pedro J. the rookie 18:01, 11 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I think the article now meets the GA requirements. Good work! Kaguya-chan (talk) 21:53, 11 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Isn't an infobox image needed? Ωphois 21:54, 11 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Not really. It's just decorative. Kaguya-chan (talk) 21:56, 11 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Oh, okay then. Ωphois 22:01, 11 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
One thing though. The production section mentions a video shown to Lois. This needs to be expanded upon. A normal user would not know what the video is of. Ωphois 22:07, 11 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Okay. Kaguya-chan (talk) 22:15, 11 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
(ec) Thank you guys! Clarifying Lois was shown an anti-gay video, and images are usually discouraged in the infobox per #8 CTJF83 chat 22:17, 11 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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