Talk:Yoichi Hiruma

Yoichi Hiruma has been listed as one of the Language and literature good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
Review: January 11, 2014. (Reviewed version).

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Untitled

Folks, his family name is Hiruma. His given name is Yoichi. This is sooo obvious. WhisperToMe 22:10, 15 June 2007 (UTC)[reply]

I created this page for Hiruma because he is an important character in Eyeshield 21, just as important as Sena and Shin. If those two as well as the Ha-Brothers are getting special character pages, I don't see what the problem in Hiruma receiving one as well. He had more than enough information on the main Deimon page and splitting him off would save space on that page for further information on other players. -StrangerAtaru 02:50, 30 April 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Darn tootin'! I'mma do some necromancy here, because Hiruma definitely merits his own page. ShiraShira 23:52, 12 June 2007 (UTC)[reply]

At least clean it up then... much of this page is so poorly written it is nearly incoherent nonsense...--Isotope23 00:50, 13 June 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Hope you last longer with this page than I did. When I tried to make this page, they eliminated it immediately cause "he's not important enough". Well if being the captain, founder and the second-most important character in the series (outside Sena) isn't good enough, I don't know what is. -StrangerAtaru 01:01, 13 June 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Don't other schools also have the rule where after the second year they must quit? —Preceding unsigned comment added by Dragonsblast (talk • contribs) 03:11, 11 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Eliminating techniques/strategies?

The section is way too long. I feel like it should be stripped away or converted to paragraph format or something, not just a long list where every single technique is detailed, even though I've taken organizing it to its current state. Thoughts? If I don't get any, I'm gonna go ahead with it. Y BCZ (talk) 20:53, 19 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Yoichi Hiruma/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: ChrisGualtieri (talk · contribs) 04:53, 3 January 2014 (UTC) Taking this. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 04:53, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article Checklist

Well-written -the prose is clear and concise, respects copyright laws, and the spelling and grammar are correct; and it complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
Verifiable with no original research: it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline; it provides in-line citations from reliable sources for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines; and it contains no original research.
Broad in its coverage: it addresses the main aspects of the topic; and it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without bias, giving due weight to each.
Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
Illustrated, if possible, by images: images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content; and images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Disambig links: OK
Reference check: OK

Comments: This is one of the best articles that I have reviewed since restarting reviewing GANs again, and I mean that. I checked for issues, but there was not really too much to find faults with. The character is well covered, and far better than anything covered in similar works like those by Helen McCarthy. Which is a definite plus in my eyes. Since the only thing I found were some prose issues, let's get to the quick fixes before passing.

"Due to the lack of interest in that sport..." - the sport
"In the first adaptation of the Eyeshield 21 manga, a 2003 Jump Festa OVA titled The Phantom Golden Bowl, he was voiced by Shin-ichiro Miki.[6] " - Word flow is poor
" In the English dubbing, the role has been voiced by Derek Stephen Prince.[7]" - was voiced by not "has been"

And to be completely fair, that's the only thing I really caught as an issue. The "other appearances" section could be filled out a little more on the details of his appearances in the Jump Super Stars and Jump Ultimate Stars titles. Going to place on hold for fixes, but very well done overall. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 16:17, 6 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your review, @ChrisGualtieri:! Could you check it? Gabriel Yuji (talk) 03:35, 9 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Passed. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 04:39, 11 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]