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Talk:Work It Out (Beyoncé song)/GA2

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 13:24, 1 August 2011 (UTC) Will being shortly.[reply]

I like it like it come'on. Lol. Jivesh • Talk2Me 13:47, 1 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
haa, you like my new signature then?! Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 14:01, 1 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Of course, i loveeeeee it. "S&M" is one of the songs of Rihanna i love the most even though i believe she did a bit too much in the video. The original slays the remix. Jivesh • Talk2Me 15:14, 1 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Lol i like the video :P Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 15:50, 1 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it well written?
    A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
    B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
  2. Is it verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check?
    A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
    B. Reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose):
    C. It contains no original research:
    D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:
    B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
  4. Is it neutral?
    It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
  5. Is it stable?
    It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
  6. Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
    A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:
    B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:
  • Info box
  1. No issues.
  • Lead info
  1. No issues.
  • Context and release
  1. Why is afro in quotation marks?  Fixed
  2. Is the entire second paragraph supported by reference 2? Because whilst reading it, it makes the first few sentences look like WP:OR.
I have to say a big NO to this. Having only one source for a whole paragraph is nothing wrong and has nothing to do with Original Research. By the way, a context section is quite similar to Synopsis or Plot. A minimum number of references or absolutely nothing will also do. See other articles like films, soundtrack singles and so on. Jivesh • Talk2Me 10:53, 6 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  1. "Pharrell Williams, and Chad Hugo" → You don't need a comma after Williams if you use 'and' afterwards.  Fixed
  • Music and style
  1. "sheet music" → "music sheet"
Sheet music is the correct term. – SMasters (talk) 23:41, 5 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  1. "modestly slow" → You mean "moderately slow"? Modestly makes no sense here.  Fixed
  2. "exhibits" → "incorporates"  Fixed
  3. The first paragraph the musical technicalities of the song is just a clump of very short sentences and hard facts with no flow or link in between each sentence. Look here to see how it should flow more.  Fixed
  4. "which seems to be an absolutely faultless attempt to re-create on classics by The J.B.'s and Lynn Anderson,[13]" → This looks like it is a quote?  Fixed
  5. Three short paragraphs looks awkward, make the section one parapgraph and add the audio sample file to above the first line instead of above the second paragraph so there is big white gap underneath the prose.  Fixed
  • Critical reception
  1. Go from positive to mixed. Not positive, mixed, then positive.  Fixed
  • Chart performance
  1. "any impact" → remove 'any', not needed.  Fixed
  2. You don't need to say it "charted on a few Billboard component charts."  Fixed
  3. Again, this section consists of just very short, hard fact sentences. You need more flow in your prose instead of putting full stops everywhere, where a comma would be a lot better.  Fixed
  4. This section with two very short paragraphs again looks awkward, make it just one section.  Fixed
  5. ""Work It Out" generally reached the top thirty positions in other European countries" → 'Generally' makes no sense here, it either did or it didn't, change to "managed to peak inside the top thirty of multiple European charts"  Fixed
  • Music video
  1. Again, I've reading only the first paragraph which is 4 lines long, there are 7 sentences! You need to make more of them flow from one to the other without putting a full stop everything, it makes it so labouring to read.  Fixed
  • Live performances
  1. "The song was also performed live at the Wynn Theatre, in Las Vegas on August 2, 2009, at the I Am... Yours concert.[43][44] The performance was later recorded and distributed in a DVD/CD package entitled I Am... Yours: An Intimate Performance at Wynn Las Vegas on November 23, 2009.[45]" → Re-word to make this one sentence. Do you understand what I mean about creating flow? There is no need for this to be two separate sentences when they are talking about the same thing.
Done Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:06, 6 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  1. Too much white space under the prose, can't you move the Cultural impact section upwards?
    No. This was done so that the image does not disrupt the structure of the article. Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:06, 6 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    I personally think the white space does interrupt the structure. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
  2. The picture: "which sampled a medley" → Sampled a medley? Re-word. Change to "as a part of a medley with "Work it Out".
Done Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:06, 6 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Cultural impact
  1. "Los Angeles band, Vitamin String Quartet," → What? Re-word this to "The Los Angeles based band Vitamin String Quartet...."
  2. " Abdul calling the performance awesome" → Is this a quote?
    What do you mean? Why should it be a quote? Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:06, 6 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    Did Paula literally say "awesome" or is that you paraphrasing what she said? If it is you paraphrasing, then it reads a bit conversational and weak. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
  3. Why do you not include Paula or Simon and just their surnames?
Done Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:06, 6 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  1. "with judges Lil Mama stating that the group performed with a lot of "charisma" and JC Chasez negatively reviewing the performance as "elementary".[55][56]" → Re-word this, "but prompted mixed reactions from the judges, with Lil Mama stating...."
Done Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:06, 6 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  1. "Author Skyy" → An author called Skyy, or is his name Author Skyy?
Done Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:06, 6 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Formats and track listings
  1. No issues.
  • 'Credits and personnel
  1. No issues.
  • Charts and certification
  1. Section title should say certifications, plural, as you give two certification.
  2. "US R&B/Hip-Hop Songs[28]" → Shouldn't this be "Bubbling Under US...." ?
  • Release history
  1. No issues.
  • References
  1. All MTV sources publisher parameter should be Viacom, not MTV Networks
    I do not agree, it has to be MTV News. This issue was raised (if my memory is good) in the GAR of a song by Chris Brown. Jivesh • Talk2Me 10:50, 6 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    It's been raised as a point to me that you should only list Viacom as the publisher. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
I asked Legolas. MTV Networks is correct( and preferable). Jivesh • Talk2Me 09:11, 8 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
He said you can use both. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
So i will leave it to MTV Networks. Jivesh • Talk2Me 10:50, 8 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  1. Plus, MTV sources should be either MTV, MTV News, MTV UK for the work parameter, not MTV Japan.
    When it is MTV Japan, it has to be MTV Japan itself. MTV Japan is a branch of MTV just like MTV UK is another branch of MTV. Both should be treated the same. Jivesh • Talk2Me 10:50, 6 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    Same as above, it's been raised as an issue to me that you should only use those three. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
Who told you all that? Please let me know. Jivesh • Talk2Me 09:11, 8 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Nathan, in one of my GANsCalvin • NaNaNaC'mon!
I still say that it is not necessary but you are the reviewer and i believe it is preferable i do what you tell me. Jivesh • Talk2Me 10:49, 8 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  1. No problematic links.
Jivesh, I'm confused. You stated a couple of points above that you are leaving it as MTV Networks, but here you are saying you will change it to Viacom etc. as I am the reviewer and I have raised it as an issue, and from what I can see, you haven't changed it, so I need to know if you are or not, because it is currently the only thing getting in the way of me waiting to pass the article. Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 19:01, 8 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Jivesh, the prose in this article is quite bad. Almost all sections need complete copy-editing to make them flow better, because for the most part, I found this article difficult to read with the constant full stops everywhere and very short sentences. I won't fail it, but you have a lot to do in a week! Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 17:20, 5 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I feel slightly responsible for the copyediting as I agreed to give this a once-over. However, I concentrated on grammar and punctuation, but not so much on the prose and flow. I will try to fix some of these issues by early next week. – SMasters (talk) 17:44, 5 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
With the exception of the MTV sources issue, I think all the other issues have been resolved. Do let us know if there's anything else. Cheers. – SMasters (talk) 06:34, 8 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Passed :) Calvin • NaNaNaC'mon! 13:33, 9 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]

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