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Talk:William L. Brandon/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Caponer (talk · contribs) 20:25, 30 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]


Ceradon, I will complete a thorough and comprehensive review of this article within the next 48 hours. Please let me know if you have any comments, concerns, or questions in the meantime. Thanks! -- Caponer (talk) 20:25, 30 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

Ceradon, I have completed both a thorough review and re-review of this article, and I find that this biography easily meets the majority of criteria for passage to Good Article status. Before its passage however, I do have some comments and questions that must first be addressed. Great job on this article. -- Caponer (talk) 20:46, 30 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Lede

  • The photograph of Brandon in the template has been released into the public domain and is therefore suitable for inclusion in this article.
  • Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style/Lead section, the lede of this article adequately defines the topic of Brandon, establishes the necessary context, and explains why he is notable.
  • General doesn't need to be capitalized here.
    • Done.
  • I suggest spelling out Confederate States Army in the first paragraph of the lede.
    • Done.
  • It may flow better if written "Brandon served from 1861 until 1864."
    • Done.
  • "army of the Confederacy" should be re-written "Confederate States Army" without wiki-link.
    • Done.
  • Perhaps reword the next sentence as "He fought in major battles, including XX..."
    • Done.
  • The lede is well-written, consists of content that is adequately sourced and verifiable, and I have no other comments or questions for this section.

Antebellum life

  • Perhaps consider renaming this section "Early life and education."
    • Done.
  • I suggest rewording this sentence as follows: "Brandon was educated at Washington College, followed by the College of New Jersey (present-day Princeton University) where he studied medicine..." or "Brandon was educated at Washington College, followed by the College of New Jersey (now Princeton University) where he studied medicine..." or something to that effect.
    • Done.
  • You could state in this section that he engaged in practice of medicine since he was professionally consulted.
    • Done.
  • Which house of the Mississippi legislature did Brandon serve in?
    • Source doesn't say.
  • It is mentioned that Brandon had three sons, but there is no mention of his marriage or wife. In order for this to meet Good Article criteria, there should be a more comprehensive portrayal of his family life. I suggest finding sources that at the very minimum mention his wife and the names of his sons.
    • Done. Didn't need to find any sources either. The answer lay in Trimpi's Crimson Confederates.
  • This section is otherwise well-written, consists of content that is adequately sourced and verifiable, and I have no other comments or questions regarding this section.

Military career

  • In the first sentence, I suggest naming the Confederate States Army rather than Confederate army.
    • Done.
  • Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style/Linking, it is not necessary to wiki-link Virginia here.
    • Done.
  • It may be more suitable to state that Brandon had contracted a cold, since the term take is mentioned later in the sentence.
    • Done.
  • By Potomac division, do you mean the Confederate Army of the Potomac?
    • Yup. Reworded.
  • Perhaps rewrite as "were spread out across eastern Virginia between Culpeper, Fredricksburg, and Norfolk..."
    • Done.
  • Rewrite as "he fell once more and remained on the field."
    • Good catch. Done.
  • Reword as "Initially, Brandon was offered whiskey which would have eased the pain, but he refused to drink it without water and sugar."
    • Done.
  • Rewrite as "The procedure was likely to have been very painful as there was not enough chloroform to provide full anesthesia when the arteries were sewn."
    • Done.
  • Richmond, Virginia should be written as just Richmond.
    • Done.
  • Do you mean the William Sutherlin Mansion in Danville, Virginia where Davis was residing toward the end of the war? If so, you'll have to explain/expand upon when and how Brandon relocated to Danville from Richmond.
    • I must have mistakenly put that. Davis offered Brandon the hospitality of his mansion in Richmond. Not the Bill Sutherlin mansion.
  • This section is otherwise well-written, consists of content that is adequately sourced and verifiable, and I have no other comments or questions regarding this section.

Later years

  • Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style/Linking, it is not necessary to wiki-link Mississippi here.
    • Done.
  • Wilkinson County is wiki-linked above, and therefore, does not need to be wiki-linked here.
    • Done.
  • This section is otherwise well-written, consists of content that is adequately sourced and verifiable, and I have no other comments or questions regarding this section.

Further notes

  • Ceradon, it looks like Gerard Brandon was Brandon's eldest brother, according to the Biographical and Historical Memoirs of Mississippi source on page 420. This is certainly relevant and should be included in this article under the "Early life and education" section. Brandon's parents are also mentioned in this source and should be included in the "Early life and education" section, too. -- Caponer (talk) 00:16, 31 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
    • @Caponer: - How are you accessing this information. I've been trying to get this book on Google Books but so far only snippet view is open.
      • Ceradon, I found this version with full text, which I think will add more notable content to this article, especially regarding Brandon's family. Review this source and see if you can extract any more pertinent information regarding Brandon. Great job incorporating everything else--the article is looking good and almost ready for GA status! -- Caponer (talk) 15:05, 31 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Art in Mississippi supports the fact that the governor was Brandon's elder brother, and describes his involvement with the Kelter Club, a social organization that operated until the Civil War. This information could also be added under "Early life and education." -- Caponer (talk) 00:16, 31 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
    • Done.
  • There is further information provided on Brandon and his family in a Cultural Resources Survey compiled by Louisiana State University for the US Army Corps of Engineers, New Orleans District in October 1993. It is located here. -- Caponer (talk) 00:21, 31 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ceradon, I also made some copyedits and de-linked second uses of terms which are wiki-linked earlier in the prose. Overall you've done a standup job with this article. Once you've added the content from the Biographical and Historical Memoirs of Mississippi source, we should be good to go for re-review and passage. Also, remember to consolidate inline citations in numerical order at the end of the sentence. I noticed throughout that there are some inline citations in the center of sentences. See if this can be avoided where possible. Thanks again for all your hard work! -- Caponer (talk) 15:18, 31 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Per this source, it looks like Brandon attended the Washington College, which later became Washington and Lee University in Lexington, Virginia. This will have to be changed in the text, and the associated category will also have to be changed. -- Caponer (talk) 15:21, 31 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
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