Talk:William B. Kouwenhoven
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Suggestions
[edit]There should definitely be some re-formatting when it comes to the structure of the article itself. The Biography section should have a chronological recounting of Kouwenhoven's life, starting with his education leading up to his career, without the tidbit about Brooklyn Polytechnic (which itself should have a blurb about it being currently known as the NYU School of Engineering) being shoehorned in at the end.
The article should possibly think about including a picture of Kouwenhoven as more material is added on. What is absolutely needed is more information delving into the background and history of Kouwenhoven's involvement with CPR and developing the first cardiac defibrillator. With both the technique and the device being such an integral part of keeping the lives of many around the world safe today, they are deserving of a far larger section with cited information detailing how Kouwenhoven came to bring them both about into the world.
While some of the wording was vague, the current text of the article (however short) presents a well-balanced, encyclopedic tone that should be maintained as it is updated.
Scerpellare (talk) 07:59, 4 April 2017 (UTC)
Hi there,
The article is really well written, and I think it flows really nicely. The information is relevant and the article is neutral (though there is a lot more information on his work with the defibrillator when compared to his personal life). However, I do think that the section regarding the first successful case could be moved up and made into a subsection under the "Electric Cardiac Defibrillator" instead of its own section right below that.
Additionally, the citations aren't really utilized throughout. Often there are entire sentences with information that isn't common knowledge with no citation. The sources that you did use seem relevant, neutral, and reliable. Nice job!