Talk:Why (Gen Hoshino song)/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: IanTEB (talk · contribs) 19:25, 1 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 18:37, 14 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

It is reasonably well written.
a. (prose, spelling, and grammar):

b. (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a. (reference section):

b. (citations to reliable sources):

c. (OR):

d. (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a. (major aspects):

b. (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):

b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/fail:

(Criteria marked are unassessed)

I will get on with this right away! --K. Peake 18:37, 14 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

Remove anime song from genres since this is only sourced as an influence in the body

I don't think anime song is challenged since any source that describes it as a song from the movie would suffice

""Why" was written and" → "The song was written and" swap this with the release sentence too

Done

"The song was used as" → "It was used as"

Done

Pipe hip-hop to Hip hop music

Not done per WP:NOTBROKEN

"first editions contain" → "first edition discs contained"

Done but kept present tense since these copies could still be purchased second-hand; that is they still exist

""Why" was received positively by" → "The song was received positively by"

Done, also reworded this area a little bit

I think it would be more suitable to link Billboard Japan Hot 100 and then link Billboard Japan itself on the second instance

Done

"chart. It took first" → "chart, while the song took first"

I reworded this part a little bit differently, but I hope it still addreses your issue

"was released on the same day as the song and" → "was released with the single and"

Done

Background

Pipe hip-hop to Hip hop music

Not done per WP:NOTBROKEN

Wikilink Forger family per MOS:LINK2SECT

Done, the redirect did not exist when I wrote this

"and marked Hoshino's debut" → "and marked his debut"

Done

Pipe Tokyo Broadcasting System to TBS Holdings

Changed link to TBS Television

"Hoshino's song "Life" was released as a digital-exclusive single in August 2023 and was used" → "In August 2023, Hoshino's song "Life" was released as a digital-exclusive single and used"

Reworded completely

Writing and inspiration

Imgs look good!
"and the 90s hip-hop," → "and 90s hip-hop,"

Done

"However, he was reluctant" → "However, Hoshino was reluctant"

Done

[1][2] should be invoked after the museum sentence in the second para since the heavy usage of these sources warrants invoking every two sentences

Done

Remove wikilink on Billboard Japan

Done, good catch

[1][2] should be invoked after the note's sentence per above

Done

"that the songs' themes" → "that their themes"

Done

Composition and lyrics

Audio sample looks good!
Wikilink synthesizer

Done

Remove or replace J-pop and rock since sidebars are not reliable for genres; maybe change pop to the genre per the pop ballad description unless you can find anything else?

Done, followed your suggestion

"nostalgic-like sound brought out by the" → "nostalgic-like sound from the"

Reworded to "created by the" since I find this more faithful to the source

"and piano per Emi Sugiura at" → "and piano, as noted by Emi Sugiura at"

Done

"called the sound to" → "called the drum sounds of"

Done, changed to "drum sounds on"

The lyrics themselves do not appear to match what is listed, unless my translator is faulty?

Enligsh lyrics are taken from Hoshino's website; I've added an efn note specifying this

Promotion and release

Img looks good!
The later year release details do not appear to be sourced

The source does specify that the drawings were shipped in pochibukuro pouches. I've just added a bit of explanation as to what that means since the average reader might not be familiar with it

"editions featuring live footage from" → "editions, featuring live footage from"

Split this into two sentences

"featuring Hoshino, the latter" → "featuring Hoshino; the latter"

Done

Reception

I don't think a lack of coverage from outlets needs to be noted in the summary sentence of this section; instead merge the first sentence to saying, "with some reviewers praising its lyrics"

Added a semicolon since "with" is considered a weak connector

"Tomoyuki Mori at Real Sound wrote that it" → "Mori at Real Sound wrote that the song"
"Emi Sugiura, a reviewer for Rockin'On Japan," → "Sugiura, a reviewer for Rockin'On Japan,"

I've kept full names since I've seen this done at FAs. When this is so far apart from the Composition section, I think it should be expected that readers will remember the name of these critics, if they even read the earlier section at all.

"a source of positive commentary." → "a source of positive commentary from a couple of reviewers." to be more specific per only these two being mentioned

Done

Remove wikilink on Billboard Japan

Done

Shouldn't the wikilink be on Billboard Japan Hot 100 instead?

Changed

Personnel

Pipe Matrix-15 to Oberheim Matrix synthesizers
Pipe DX7 to Yamaha DX7

Not done per WP:NOTBROKEN

Track listing

Good

Charts

Remove wikilink on Billboard Japan in the second table

I think the standard is to link all since the chart templates would do this; I'm not using them since it doesn't support the more specific Japan charts

Release history

Format → Format(s)

Done

Pipe CD to compact disc

Not done per WP:NOTBROKEN

Notes

Wikilink Kanji to itself

Done

References

Copyvio score looks decent at 32.0%
Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 7

Done

Either cite work or publisher on ref 11

Removed publisher

Isn't it WP:OVERLINK to link to Apple Music three times on ref 13?

I don't think OVERLINK really applies to citations

External links

Good

Final comments and verdict

On hold until all of the issues are fixed; this shouldn't take too long! --K. Peake 20:23, 15 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Kyle Peake: This was indeed quick. I think I've fixed every issue.

@IanTEB: You need to change the reception sentence in the lead to starting with "the song" instead of its title, remove Japanese rock mention from the audio sample since it's not sourced and I think Apple Music qualifies for overlinking since this is linking to the same publisher three times in the same reference with these citations. --K. Peake 08:24, 16 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Kyle Peake: Done IanTEB (talk) 11:30, 16 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

IanTEB ✓ Pass now, this is so good the only final fix I made was a typo of "the" for you now and I'm proud of keeping the response times fast! --K. Peake 13:11, 16 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]