Talk:Whitemore, Tasmania/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Casliber (talk · contribs) 09:02, 5 February 2015 (UTC)

I'll take a look at this. comments soon. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 09:02, 5 February 2015 (UTC)

The town's land and surrounding rural was first granted to Richard Dry.. - noun left out after rural (?)

Oops - restored the word I dropped during some edit - Peripitus (Talk) 11:50, 5 February 2015 (UTC)

For a time the town had a nearby rail service but in the 21st century transport is by car or school bus. In the 21st century the town has a small largely Australian born, and aging, population. - I'd change the first sentence to state when the train service closed and leave out "but in the 21st century transport is by car or school bus". The second "In the 21st century" - present is implied by present tense

I've changed the "for a time" to "From 1870 to c.1978" as there is no recorded date I can find on when it closed, just confirmation that it was definitely closed by 1978. Second bit as noted gone - Peripitus (Talk) 11:50, 5 February 2015 (UTC)

I'd say "around" or "before" 1978 rather than using "c." in prose....

Fixed to "sometime before". before by itself feels a little stark.- Peripitus (Talk) 08:25, 9 February 2015 (UTC)

Yep, that's good. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 10:19, 9 February 2015 (UTC)

Although the town had formed it did not become the population centre of Whitemoor - why not simply " However, it did not become the population centre of Whitemoor" (you've already just said what it is in the previous sentence)

Changed to "The town never became the population centre and Whitemoor remained a farming district with only a few buildings clustered near the church" cutting quite a few words out.- Peripitus (Talk) 08:25, 9 February 2015 (UTC)

link Shell

done - Peripitus (Talk) 08:25, 9 February 2015 (UTC)

try and move 1-2 sentence paras onto larger paras for flow

The recreation ground has a long sporting history - I'd remove this sentence as redundant. Let dates and facts in following sentences speak for themselves

Removed. - Peripitus (Talk) 08:25, 9 February 2015 (UTC)

and it was noted as somewhat of a retirement village. - --> " and it was described as somewhat of a retirement village." (better verb I think)

change ref titles that are in all caps to title case (i.e. capitalised lower case)

Tasmanian Tiger not capitalised any more (the tiger bit anyway).

All above fixed I think. I've combined one short paragraph but the rest seem to present distinctive subject matter compared to other's in the same section and I can't see an elegant way to combine further - Peripitus (Talk) 10:35, 10 February 2015 (UTC)

1. Well written?:

Prose quality:

Manual of Style compliance:

2. Factually accurate and verifiable?:

References to sources:

Citations to reliable sources, where required:

No original research:

3. Broad in coverage?:

Major aspects:

Focused:

4. Reflects a neutral point of view?:

Fair representation without bias:

5. Reasonably stable?

No edit wars, etc. (Vandalism does not count against GA):

6. Illustrated by images, when possible and appropriate?:

Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:

Overall:

Pass or Fail: - couple of minor tweaks and we're over the line I think. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 02:08, 10 February 2015 (UTC)