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Talk:When We Were Young (Adele song)/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 09:37, 16 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

I will start on this today! --K. Peake 09:37, 16 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for taking this! Very excited for this one.--NØ 11:11, 16 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

[edit]
  • Dean Street Studios → Dean Street in the infobox per the usage of studios in the parameter of the same name
  • WP:OVERLINK of Adele under songwriters
  • Add a comma after third studio album
  • "Adele and Tobias Jesso Jr. wrote it," → "Adele and Tobias Jesso Jr. wrote the song,"
  • Mention how the song was written as the third sentence of the lead since this is notable here
  • The release date is 22 January 2016 not 20 January
  • Pipe ballad to Sentimental ballad
  • ""When We Were Young" has piano instrumentation" → "it has piano instrumentation"
  • "Inspired by the imagery" → "Inspired by the vision" or something similar since imagery is not appropriate here
  • Re-word the sentence to mention the song reached the top 10 in 11 countries, including two or three notable ones
  • Add a sentence afterwards mentioning notable certifications
  • "The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and" → "The Ellen DeGeneres Show and"

Background and release

[edit]
  • Img looks good!
  • "who had produced many songs" → "a producer of many songs"
  • Add the release year of 21
  • Remove overly obvious wikilink on Los Angeles
  • She actually did work with Tobias Jesso Jr. so is writing expressed interest really the appropriate description?
  • "and they spent almost three days" → "and they spent about three days" per the source
  • Only "When We Were Young" is sourced as being created
  • The house location is only sourced as in Los Angeles, not Brentwood
  • "melodies and lyrics."" → "melodies and lyrics"." per MOS:QUOTE
  • Pipe ballads to Sentimental ballad
  • "and started a" → "and started creating a"
  • "He thought it had" → "He thought the song had"
  • Italicise The Fader
  • "he pushed her beyond" → "he pushed Adele beyond"
  • "cry to it."" → "cry to it"." per the source
  • Italicise 60 Minutes
  • "wondering what would be" → "questioning what would be"
  • Pipe digital download to Music download
  • "in some countries" → "in various countries" also, only one country is sourced
  • "Its official artwork features" → "The official artwork features"
  • "of her younger self."" → "of her younger self"."
  • "called it "adorable,"" → "called it "adorable","

Composition and lyrical interpretation

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  • "sample of "When We Were Young"'s" → "sample of the song's" on the audio sample text
  • "reminisces past memories" → "reminisces about past memories"
  • "engineered the song, and plays" → "engineered the song and plays" per British English
  • "synthesizer, and percussion." → "synthesizer and percussion." with the wikilink
  • "plays the piano, and" → "plays the piano and"
  • "It incorporates bass, drums, and guitar in its instrumentation, was" → "The song incorporates bass, drums and guitar in its instrumentation, was"
  • "in London, and mixed at" → "in London and mixed at" with the pipe
  • ""When We Were Young" is a" → "Musically, "When We Were Young" is a"
  • Italicise i-D
  • "considered it "a 70s styled shimmery disco ballad."" → "considered the song "a 70s styled shimmery disco ballad"." per MOS:QUOTE
  • ""somber piano chords," which" → ""somber piano chords", which"
  • "show off her staggering, empathic voice."" → "show off [Adele's] staggering, empathic voice"." per MOS:QUOTE
  • "come-to-Jesus money note."" → "come-to-Jesus money note"."
  • "Adele described it as" → "Adele described the song as"
  • "to the work of Elton John, and" → "to the work of Elton John and"
  • Not done as this makes it sound like "The Way We Were" was a duet between John and Streisand.
  • Rest of the section soon!
  • Done up to here! I've kept all the oxford commas. Unless you absolutely insist, I think combing through the article and removing them will be an unnecessary and tedious task. Regards.--NØ 15:48, 16 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • It looks good so far; I did some minor copy editing for you though.
  • "The song "finds her" → "The song "finds [Adele]"
  • "it's even over."" → "it's even over"."
  • "in real time," singing:" → "in real time", singing:"
  • "she cries about" → "Adele cries about"
  • Italicise The Atlantic
  • "who 'everybody loves.'"" → "who 'everybody loves'"."
  • "In an interview with SiriusXM," → "In an interview with Sirius XM," with the wikilink
  • "In a New York Times song by song analysis," → "In a song by song analysis by The New York Times," with the wikilink
  • "off the album 25,[29] and later revealed that her" → "off 25,[29] and later revealed her"
  • The lyric is not mentioned by the source

Critical reception

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  • Retitle to Reception per the rankings at the end
  • "received acclaim from music critics." → "was met with acclaim from music critics."
  • AllMusic should not be italicised
  • "with its nostalgic theme." → "with the nostalgic theme."
  • Pipe Consequence of Sound to Consequence (publication)
  • "selected it as" → "selected the song as"
  • "positive about her writing skills," → "positive about Adele's writing skills,"
  • Pipe Inquirer to Philippine Daily Inquirer
  • "remarked that "a single" → "remarked, "A single"
  • Pipe The Huffington Post to HuffPost
  • "singers alive today"." → "singers alive today."" per MOS:QUOTE on full sentences
  • "midlife crisis—that won't" → "midlife crisis. That won't" per the source's usage of sentences
  • Too much reviewer introductions using of here; try to vary with introductions like from instead at points
  • "praised her "incredible," → "praised Adele's "incredible,"
  • "sultriness on the verses."" → "sultriness on the verses"."
  • "blossom of Adele's voice."" → "blossom of Adele's voice"."
  • "it a "mature [...] torchy ballad,"" → "the song a "mature [...] torchy ballad","
  • "perform in her sleep."" → "perform in her sleep"."
  • "of PopMatters was praiseful, naming it" → "of PopMatters was praiseful, naming the song"
  • "25 is worth" → "25 is worth"
  • Move the Time part to the start of the next para since that belongs with rankings
  • Remove the several music critics part so the above can join this para
  • I moved it to being the second sentence as I think that works as well.
  • "as her fifth-best," → "as Adele's fifth-best,"
  • "elaborated: "she spins" → "elaborated that "she spins"
  • Wikilink The Guardian

Commercial performance

[edit]
  • Change to double platinum and mention that the certification was in the United Kingdom
  • The official title of the award here is "2× Platinum", not double platinum.
  • "It reached number 14" → "The song reached number 14"
  • Should platinum really be capitalised?
  • Yup, my explanation from the "Happier Than Ever" GAN applies here as well I suppose.
  • "and earned a 5× Platinum" → "and earned a quintuple platinum" mentioning that this was in Canada
  • Mention the charts the Australia and New Zealand positions were on as well as that the certifications were in the countries
  • "and Gold in Belgium,[70] Mexico." → "and Gold in Belgium and Mexico." moving [70] to the end of the sentence, also should gold really be capitalised?

Live performances

[edit]
  • The Genting Arena performance is not mentioned in prose, so either write this out or use a different img
  • "on 24 February 2016." → "on 24 February."
  • Mention that the Glastonbury performance was part of the encore
  • The tour name Adele Live 2016 is not sourced

Covers

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  • Retitle to Cover versions
  • "her powerful vocals."" → "her powerful vocals"." per MOS:QUOTE

Credits and personnel

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Charts

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Weekly charts

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Year-end charts

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Certifications

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  • Good

Release history

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  • None of these columns should be sortable

See also

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References

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  • It seemed to point to Just Jared Jr. which has sketchy reliability so I have replaced this.
[edit]
  • Good

Final comments and verdict

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  • Everything should be addressed now, K. Peake. Thanks a lot for the review and apologies for some of those source-text integrity issues in the Background section, I should've gone over that once before the nomination. Hope you have a great week!--NØ 12:15, 17 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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