Talk:Webster School (Washington, D.C.)/GA1
GA Review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Nominator: APK (talk · contribs) 02:03, 24 January 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 01:35, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
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Almost there. Some copy changes, and I think one claim requires more research. Ping me when done. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 02:01, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
Did you know? If you fancy doing so, I always have plenty of GA nominees to review. Just look for the all-uppercase titles in the Television section. Reviews always appreciated.
Copy changes
[edit]Lead
[edit]- The lead should be consolidated into four paragraphs or fewer.
- The Culinary Arts Group planned to raze the building in 1998, which preservationists responded with missing "to" before "which"
Done APK hi :-) (talk) 10:31, 2 July 2024 (UTC)- Passing. I dropped some stuff in there too that fills some of the 1960s-1970s gap. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 22:43, 3 July 2024 (UTC)
History
[edit]- two-to-three stories No need to hyphenate
- I would like to see more support for the "groundbreaking" claim. The nomination form says "a model of its kind". I wonder if there is anything further?
- This was a groundbreaking program locally and it lasted for several years. WP:CINS, but here you're better served by removing the "it"
- The plan was praised by some industry and government officials, but criticized by others who didn't think students should be trained for the service industry. Remove comma (CinS)
- beating an offer by the United States Secret Service (USSS) whose headquarters wraps around the east and south sides of the school Add a comma after (USSS)
- "one of the last public schools remaining in downtown Washington, providing physical evidence of the residential neighborhoods and ethnic groups that were once an important part of the downtown community." Logical quote because this is a sentence fragment: community".
- "schools buildings" fix
- and "no foreign government or foreign-owned or-controlled entity will be allowed to purchase or occupy the property." another logical quote issue. Consider paraphrasing to reduce quote length to something like a ban on ownership or occupation by any "foreign government or foreign-owned or-controlled entity".
- Meanwhile the surrounding area changed rapidly after the $950 million multi-use development, CityCenterDC, was built across the street. This is not an appositive, and it's something I abhor. Why? Because without the name, you're left wondering "what multi-use development". Try one of these:
- Meanwhile, the surrounding area changed rapidly after the $950 million multi-use development CityCenterDC was built across the street.
- Meanwhile, the surrounding area changed rapidly after CityCenterDC, a $950 million multi-use development, was built across the street.
- Has there been any action on HR 4688 in the Senate in the five-plus months since this nomination?
- @Sammi Brie:, a Senate committee passed the bill, but I don't know if it's going to a full vote in the Senate itself. APK hi :-) (talk) 10:31, 2 July 2024 (UTC)
Location and design
[edit]- between Chinatown to the east, and downtown to the west Remove unneeded comma
- to the east and south, the Secret Service headquarters Remove unneeded comma to match rest of sentence
- Try "rarer" instead of "more rare"
- "liven" should be "enliven"
- What is the unit on 12/12 and 9/9?
- Located in the hallway is a lounge area on each floor. Try Located in the hallway on each floor is a lounge area.
Sourcing and spot checks
[edit]Earwig flags some agency titles and a few unavoidable, banal statements like "The school was named in honor of Daniel Webster".
- 4:
And now, the combination of the site's prime location and a cash-strapped school board may result in a bidding war.
- 5:
The appraisal report said that its “highest and best use” resided in tearing it down and building anew. ... It didn’t take long for the D.C. Preservation League to sound the alarm. On Dec. 22, just 11 days after Starke’s group applied for the demolition permit, the League’s Jerry Maronek was scrambling downtown to file the necessary papers to designate Webster a historic landmark. ... National Treasury Employees Union (NTEU), which plans to build new offices on the site and lease a space to the culinary institute
Might be worth mentioning NTEU planned an office building. - 7:
Tipped off in late December that a demolition permit was being sought for a school at 10th and H streets NW, he and other D.C. Preservation League members rushed to prepare a detailed landmark application in less than 48 hours.
- 8:
In early 2001, the Secret Service asked the General Services Administration, which manages real estate for the federal government, to pursue the property once again.
Images
[edit]- No licensing issues on any images—thanks for contributing your own shots, as always. Unsure if the Secret Service star logo is needed, frankly.
- Encouragement: Add alt text.
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.