Talk:Vz. 24/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 22:43, 23 February 2018 (UTC)

I'll take a look at this one, comments to follow in the next few days. Zawed (talk) 22:43, 23 February 2018 (UTC)

Thanks for taking this on, Zawed. This is my first foray into military firearm type articles, so there might well be a learning process. Parsecboy (talk) 23:51, 23 February 2018 (UTC)

Shouldn't the title of this be (Czech word for rifle) vz. 24 to disambiguate the title, much like Pistole vz. 24? The current title simply means Model 24 and could apply to many things.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 02:42, 24 February 2018 (UTC)

I'm not sure that the rifles are ever referred to that way - or at least they're not in any of the sources I've come across. Parsecboy (talk) 11:27, 24 February 2018 (UTC)

Infobox

• The 1948 Arab-Israeli War is listed here but not mentioned in article body
  • Removed
• Manufacturer should be Brno Arms Works for consistency with article body (although the link in the article body actually goes to the name in the infobox)
  • Good idea
• Rate of fire and muzzle velocity needs a cite as not mentioned in text
  • Removed these as well - none of the sources I have cover either

Lead

• A few things in the lead are not actually mentioned in the article body, specifically: "...considered more handy than the 150 mm (5.9") -longer Gewehr 98. The carbine followed a similar trend in weapon design at the time, that a short rifle gave away little in ballistic efficiency at combat ranges, but was easier to handle on account of its shorter length and lighter weight."
  • I'll have to look at a couple of sources I don't have on hand at the moment for this.
    • I did as much digging as I think I'll be able to do in a reasonable amount of time, and I can't find a source for the claim about "ballistic efficiency at combat ranges", so I've removed that line. Perhaps they consider it as something of a WP:BLUE issue, but the only considerations the sources I've examined discussed were about increased muzzle flash and recoil with the shorter rifles (which is what led to the cancellation of the original Karabiner 98As in 1908. Parsecboy (talk) 12:54, 2 March 2018 (UTC)
• Close, repeated use of "captured" in this sentence: "Lithuanian vz. 24s, which had been captured during the German invasion in 1941, were later captured by Soviet forces,...", suggest rephrasing.
  • Changed the second "captured" to "seized"

Development and service with the Czechoslovak Army

• Redlink vz. 23?
  • Done
• "It resembled the German Karabiner 98k, which it predated by more than a decade.": Isn't it more a case of the 98k resembling the vz. 24?
  • Sure, but the K98k is a much more well-known rifle - any kid who plays WWII video games knows about the K98k, but the vz. 24 is a fairly obscure rifle.

Description

• You've provided conversions, most are imperial to metric, but there are a few metric to imperial (including in infobox). Suggest selecting one or the other for consistency.
  • Converted all to metric - probably makes for sense for a European rifle anyway.
• link pistol grip, cleaning rod
  • Done

Export and foreign combat employment

• There are two mentions of Bolivia having 101,000 vz. 24 rifles.
  • Good catch - that paragraph got rewritten a couple times and that got moved around (and apparently left where it was, too)
• There are a few short sentences in the first paragraph of the section; suggest combining some of them, a bit like you have done in for Guatemala, El Salvador and Nicaragua.
  • Good idea
• Second paragraph - as noted in the lead, there is close repeated use of "captured".
  • Reworded
• "...as well as during the Partisans fighting...": this doesn't read well. Perhaps: as well as being used by the partisans fighting
  • Sometimes you read things you wrote and think "how did that happen - how about "during the Partisans' insurgency..."?
• Include the text "No. 1 Mk. III" as part of the link to Lee-Enfield.
  • Done
• I'm not certain but it seems Francoist-Nationalist is more common than Franquist-Nationalist so perhaps refer to the former?
  • Works for me.
• Better link Interarms
  • Done

German G24(t)

• There is some overlap in content of the two paragraphs of this section. I think the first two sentences of the 2nd para should follow should follow the first sentence of the 1st para. The remaining part of the 2nd para could be integrated to follow on from the 2nd sentence of the 1st para, and the "In 1942" could be the start of a new para. Hope all makes sense!

Other stuff

• No dupe links
• No dab links
• The sole external link checks out OK so all good there
• Image tags check out OK - most of them are yours anyway!

Parsecboy, have done my initial passover. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 09:03, 26 February 2018 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Having reviewed the changes to the article, it is looking good, passing as GA. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 21:06, 2 March 2018 (UTC)