Talk:Video game rehabilitation/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 23:16, 13 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Shall get to this soon. JAGUAR 23:16, 13 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Initial comments

Lead could do with being split into two paragraphs, in order to improve prose flow
"is a process of using common video game consoles" - why 'common'?
"The use of virtual feedback has been seen scattered throughout history for quite some time" - informal. This type of claim needs to have significant sources for a GA
"However, though the feedback was virtual, the performances were not widely virtual until the 1990s" - what does 'virtual' mean here? I don't understand
"With the early-stage experimentation, not many positive results were found causing some doubt of the systems" - comma needed between "found" and "causing"
"Some even found that too much virtual feedback increased poor performance outside of the controlled environment" - unencyclopaedic
"As virtual reality systems and virtual environments became more accessible and affordable, though, so too did the implementations of and research on them" - completely informal
"Now, common gaming consoles such as the Wii and Kinect allow researchers to use cheaper" - please
What is with the Roman numerals in the brackets of the history section?
"Saving energy while still participating in therapy has proven effective for these groups of people, since they are still able to progress in their goals towards rehabilitation, but not over-work themselves in the process." - unsourced
"They're tailored to the needs of the individuals and to the environment that they are expected to encounter on a regular basis" - informal contraction
Last paragraph of Rehabilitation through gaming vs. regular methods section largely unsourced
Wii is overlinked in the Physical rehabilitation section
"In this case, the common mobile app, Fruit Ninja" - popular

Close - not listed

I'm sorry but I'm going to stop here. The article doesn't meet the GA criteria. It contains a large amount of original research, informal writing and incorrectly formatted references. Please go over WP:GA? and renominate when ready. JAGUAR 23:36, 13 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]