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New intro text proposal for National Council of La Raza article

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What follows is our proposal for text to replace the current text in the introduction, which we believe is in keeping with Wikipedia's neutral point of view [[1]].
The National Council of La Raza (NCLR) is the largest Latino civil rights and advocacy organization in the United States, and works to improve opportunities for Hispanic Americans. It was founded in 1968 and is a nonprofit, nonpartisan, tax-exempt organization headquartered in Washington, DC. [1]
NCLR has state and regional offices in Chicago, Los Angeles, Miami, New York, Phoenix, and San Antonio, and a network of over 265 community-based organizations called Affiliates.[2]
In addition to its advocacy of comprehensive immigration reform[3] [4] , NCLR provides policy analysis and advocates on issues including housing, health, immigration, education, immigration, workforce development, and civic engagement.[5] [6]

Thank you, Rem1321 (talk) 20:48, 15 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Sounds like a press release and not at all neutral. SW3 5DL (talk) 18:08, 21 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

References

Thanks for reviewing, SW3 5DL. We have stated our reasons above as to why the current text is outdated and incorrect. The corrections are a recitation of facts, just as that of other civil rights organizations such as the NAACP. Is it an issue with the language or format? Rem1321 (talk) 21:15, 26 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
You are using primary sources. That's why it reads like a press release. It's biased. It has to be secondary sources. Please see reliable sources. SW3 5DL (talk) 05:40, 27 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
there is a serious POV problem with UNDUE. it reads like a ransom note. chiding the organization, who does not know policy is dysfunctional. Brock-brac (talk) 16:37, 27 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Request declined due to concerns expressed above. Regards, VB00 (talk) 07:31, 2 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"a path to citizenship"

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The intro had read that the group advocated "a path to citizenship." This was ambiguous and likely to be misleading to readers not familiar with the issue and its context. Many Hispanics/Latinos in the US are already citizens (either natural born or naturalized), and those who immigrated to the US legally already have a path to citizenship. What the group advocates for is rather "a path to citizenship *for illegal immigrants*." I have edited the article accordingly. -2003:CA:83C9:2100:951B:4A09:233B:EA65 (talk) 12:25, 22 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

On this point raised by user above, we respectfully call on the Wikipedia community to reconsider. The term “illegal immigrants” is not neutral. It is controversial and in dispute, and no longer used by several major news organizations. Rem1321 (talk) 21:37, 3 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]
In addition, the following paragraph is factually incorrect for 2016, and cites from a book published in 1999:
Three-quarters of its funding comes from private sources, including individuals and corporations, and one-quarter of its funding is from the federal government.[3]
The federal government funding percentage is 15% as of September 2015. The remaining 85% of funding is from individuals, corporations, and foundations. Our 2015 Annual Report contains our most current financial statements. The organization's IRS Form 990 returns can also be found online.
We find odd that a reference to our funding would be placed in the second paragraph of the page. We have seen no similar reference to the federal funding of other US minority civil rights organizations on Wikipedia.Rem1321 (talk) 21:37, 3 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]
I'm making some changes based on these comments. Thanks. Safehaven86 (talk) 21:52, 3 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Expanding History section

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The page's History section primarily focuses on its founding and gives sparse details from then on. There's a large gap in history represented between 1996 and 2017. Would like to add more objective details about the organization's efforts (along with the organization's logo after a rebranding), but since I'm a paid employee of UnidosUS, I want to make sure I'm doing so in a way that follows Wikipedia's standards.

Rem1321 (talk) 22:13, 24 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Rem1321 Thanks for disclosing your affiliation. You should use Template:Request edit to make edit requests here on the talk page which will then be reviewed and implemented as appropriate by other editors. Let me know if you have any questions. Marquardtika (talk) 22:38, 24 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Some proposed changes

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• Information to be added or removed:

Extended content

Between the sixth and seventh paragraphs of the History the section, suggest adding: The organization founded the National Homeownership Network in 1997. [1] It includes more than 50 independent organizations that provide housing counseling services. In 2004, Raul Yzaguirre announced his retirement as President and CEO [2] and Janet Murguía became his successor at the beginning of 2005. In 2008, launched largest Latino voter registration and engagements. Have registered more than half a million new voters since. [3]

In 2018, UnidosUS celebrated its 50th anniversary. [4]

• Explanation of issue: This section focuses mostly on the organization’s beginnings and has no information between 1996 and 2017.


• External references supporting change have been added as links, Rem1321 (talk) 19:21, 2 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Rem1321 (talk) 21:40, 2 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Some proposed changes

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• Information to be added or removed: Suggest removing the text in the Programs section and replacing with: In addition to policy, UnidosUS has developed programs that it provides to its affiliate organizations to implement. The programs include several youth-focused and educational programs, health and nutrition programs, job training, and financial planning programs.

• Explanation of issue: The two sentences in this section are about an event, not a program. The organization develops various programs and this section should refer to them, to prevent confusion.

• References supporting change: https://www.unidosus.org/issues/youth/; https://www.unidosus.org/issues/education/k-12/stem/; https://www.unidosus.org/issues/health/nutrition-and-wellness/; https://www.unidosus.org/issues/economy/workforce/ Rem1321 (talk) 19:21, 2 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Annual Awards

Some proposed changes

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• Information to be added or removed: Suggest changing the title of the “Annual awards” section to “Annual events” and adding the following: UnidosUS holds its annual conference every summer, offering workshops and other sessions related to issues the Latino community is facing. Notable guests have included Elizabeth Warren, John McCain, and Barack and Michelle Obama. In conjunction with the conference, the organization hosts the National Latino Family Expo, a free event offering services, demonstrations, and entertainment for local families. UnidosUS hosts its Changemakers Summit during the spring, aimed at giving attendees advocacy training to meet with their congressional representatives. The organization also hosts its Capital Awards during the same time, honoring policymakers who have championed Latinos.

• Explanation of issue: The awards are a minor part of the organization’s operations and are tied to its major events. It would be more informative to make the section about those events.

• References supporting change: https://conference.unidosus.org/; http://changemakerssummit2019.com/; http://capitalawards.unidosus.org/; https://expo.unidosus.org/ Rem1321 (talk) 19:21, 2 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Some proposed changes

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• Information to be added or removed: Suggest adding a new section titled “Affiliate network” between “Programs” and “Annual awards” and adding the following text: UnidosUS has established formal relationships with community-based nonprofit organizations referred to as its affiliate network. These affiliates directly serve the Latino population across the country, providing services related to health, education, housing, workforce development, and more.

• Explanation of issue: The entry doesn’t mention the organization’s relationship with community-based organizations spread across the country. This is a defining aspect of the organization and bears mentioning.

• References supporting change: https://www.unidosus.org/affiliates/

Rem1321 (talk) 19:21, 2 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Reply 2-APR-2019

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  Unable to review  

  • Your edit request could not be reviewed because the provided references are not formatted correctly.[a] The citation style predominantly used by the UnidosUS article is Citation Style 1 (CS1). The citation style used in the edit request consists of bare URL's.[b] Any requested edit of yours which may be implemented will need to resemble the current style already in use in the article – in this case, CS1. (See WP:CITEVAR.) In the extended section below titled Citation style, I have illustrated two examples: one showing how the edit request was submitted, and another showing how requests should be submitted in the future:
Citation style
Bare URL reference formatting:

The Sun's diameter is 864,337.3 miles.
https://www.booksource.com

The Moon's diameter is 2,159 miles.
http://www.journalsource.com

The Sun's temperature is 5,778 degrees Kelvin.
http://www.websource.com

In the example above there are three URL's provided with the claim statements, but these URL's have not been placed using Citation Style 1, which is the style predominantly used by the UnidosUS article. Using CS1, the WikiFormatted text should resemble the following:

Citation Style 1 formatting:
  • The Sun's diameter is 864,337.3 miles.<ref>{{cite book|last1=Sjöblad|first1=Tristan|title=The Sun|url=http://www.booksource.com|publisher=Academic Press|date=2018|page=1}}</ref>
  • The Moon's diameter is 2,159 miles.<ref>{{cite journal|last1=Harinath|first1=Paramjit|title=Size of the Moon|journal=Science|issue=78|volume=51|url=http://www.journalsource.com|date=2018|page=46}}</ref>
  • The Sun's temperature is 5,778 degrees Kelvin.<ref>{{cite web|last1=Uemura|first1=Shu|title=The Sun's Heat|url=http://www.websource.com|publisher=Academic Press|date=2018|page=2}}</ref>


Which displays as:

The Sun's diameter is 864,337.3 miles.[1]

The Moon's diameter is 2,159 miles.[2]

The Sun's temperature is 5,778 degrees Kelvin.[3]

References


  1. ^ Sjöblad, Tristan. The Sun. Academic Press, 2018, p. 1.
  2. ^ Harinath, Paramjit. "Size of the Moon", Science, 51(78):46.
  3. ^ Uemura, Shū. The Sun's Heat. Academic Press, 2018, p. 2.

In the example above the references have been formatted according to Citation Style 1, which shows the author, the source's name, date, etc., all information which is lost when only the links are provided. As Wikipedia is a volunteer project, edit requests such yours are generally expected to have this formatting done before the request is submitted for review.

Kindly rewrite your edit request so that it aligns more with the second example shown in the collapsed section above, and feel free to re-submit that edit request at your earliest convenience. If you have any questions about this formatting please don't hesitate to ask myself or another editor. Regards,  Spintendo  21:48, 2 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Notes

  1. ^ The fault for this formatting error may have originated with the automated prompts used by the edit request template, which asks for a COI editor to "supply the URL of any references used". While the resulting omission of information would not be the fault of the requesting COI editor, it nevertheless remains their responsibility to supply the references formatted in the style used by the article.
  2. ^ The use of bare URLs as references is a style which is acceptable for use in Wikipedia. However, general practice dictates that the style already in use for an article be the one that is subsequently used for all future additions unless changed by editorial consensus.[1]

References

  1. ^ "WP:CITEVAR - Wikipedia:Citing sources". Wikipedia. 20 October 2018. Retrieved 22 October 2018. Guideline: It is normal practice to defer to the style used by the first major contributor or adopted by the consensus of editors already working on the page, unless a change in consensus has been achieved. If the article you are editing is already using a particular citation style, you should follow it.